A penis saved is a penis earned

Old habits die hard....they really do. I realize that I need to avoid boredom at all costs. Boredom for me spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E. This is probably why as I sit here at my desk thanking God it's Friday and twiddling my thumbs, I find myself EIGHT steps past flirting with my Ex.--THE EX. I'm not quite sure how it began. Probably something like a normal "Hey what's up? Just checkin on you". That has now escalated to a request for first "PG-13" then "R" and now "XXX"rated pictures of the one and only...SIGH. This can only lead to trouble on top of trouble..or perhaps underneath trouble...or backin' up to trouble. Either way, this can't be good...I decided to sit on Sheba's virtual couch.

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Haute: Please make me stop sending pictures of myself to THE EX at his request.

*I don't know if I really want her to stop me or tell me this madness is ok. She knows the EX, has heard the rumors, has friends who can probably testify, having had a back breaking tryst or two of their own. Its been over 7 years since the last time he made use of his All Access pass. I'm wondering how far I can take this...

Sheba: You dirty slut! Skank ho slut ;-) lmfao

*OK...she didn't say BAD GIRL though...back to sending I go.

Sheba: What pictures might I ask? Do I want to know?

Haute: A bunch of ass shots so far. He said he wanted some titty and wet pussy shots too. I said he had to upgrade his membership for that. I told him I'd put him on a sliding scale for payment. He said sliding or slide-in?!! He's such a fucking tease!

*Even though we haven't done the dirty since '02 I've seen his chocolaty fine sexy ass on numerous occasions since then. I've hung out with his girlfriend and imagined if she's really puttin those 9+ inches of pure bliss to good use. Doubt it.

Sheba: Yeah he is. Tell him don't write a check his dick can't cash.

Haute: Rightttt

Haute: He's saying he thinks he should have a lifetime membership. I told him he's seen my ass since '93, doesn't get anymore lifetime than that.

Sheba: I mean, are you cashing checks?

*I sureeee do want to be

Haute: No but damn he's an elite bank member. High revenue. Lmaoo

Sheba: Lmfao

Haute: Lolol. He must understand I'm not playing games with his ass. He's really asked me for a pic everyday this week.

Sheba: Lmaooo Does he have credit cards?

*Abso-fucking-lutely! Been filling up with membership reward points since 1993

Haute: He's an impulsive shopper ill assume so. He says he's not sure what he can afford sometimes he sees somethin he really likes and goes for it and figures out the rest later

Dick advisor emeritus Pink, joins the conversation...

Pink: You trained that dick, taught it everything it knows, saved it, built it up to the cockstrong annuity that it is. You took that dick from a penny and made it a hedge fund!

Haute: Lmao...indeed the fuck I did! And the Bank still has his fucking name on it.
Sheba: You deserve at the very least an annual return on your investment. I'm just wondering if he can't afford to put your ass on credit.

Pink: You need to consolidate all your funds, transfer them as quickly as possible to an offshore (off the fucking shore) account and get your groove back.

Sheba: When is the last time you had some from him? Maybe it's not as perfect as it used to be? Maybe?

*What in the world would make it not as good as it used to be?! I'd blame the girlfriend for ruining him. Talk about devastation. Damn I get wet just thinking about the shit.

Haute: Dangg '02! Who knowssss. I would be sooooo disappointed if it wasn't though.

Sheba: Yesss. Lmao

Sheba & Pink: Basically we're your loan officers. We're trying to convince you to be cautious.

1. you could find out after the fact or during that the price of gold has indeed declined or
2. you could end up with a high interest loan that you can't possibly maintain

Haute: True indeed. Definitely need to do risk assessment on this one. Haven't diversified the portfolio in a minute.

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The saga continues...in 24 hours ill find myself once again in the same city as him and I plan to tease the shit out of him....I'm a greedy bitch. Let's see if he really wants my Goodies cause dammit if he does it's ON!