Get Your Bitch!

First off, let me start this entry by saying that I don't normally make it a practice to indulge in bullshit, but the bullshit on top of bullshit I'm about to unfold on ya'll right now is so asinine, it's noteworthy. So, to the guy featured here and all dudes like him who can't keep their game on lock, "Get Your Bitch, Homie," for she know not who she fucketh with.

You all may remember reading a few of my entries about a rendezvous or two with a dude who fucks on film. Now, as I said, a rendezvous or two, me and this dude fucked, end of story. He lives in a different city and fucks on film, the likeliness of me having a desire to do anything more than just fuck him once or twice was null. Furthermore, he had a girlfriend. I remember once asking him how she felt about his goingson and he talked around it, I didn't give a shit. She was his girl, not mine. If he didn't respect her, why should I? Case closed.

So we did our thing. It was a wrap. As a matter of fact, after the last time we kicked it, I made it up in my mind, I'd had enough of fucking Dude. Gone. Out of my mind. Until...this chick surfaced out of nowhere. I get a text message at like 8 in the damn morning from Dude's phone, "I don't know what Dude told you, but we are not in an open relationship. I am pregnant with his child and you [k]new so leave him alone or his child will be a bastard and you can have him."

BRAAAA-HA-HAAAAA!!!!! WTF?!? Hilarious. I almost ran off the fucking road.

"I don't know what Dude told you, but we are not in an open relationship."

Okay, she acknowledged in her opening statement that her dude could have possible told me they were in an open relationship. Which means, I may have fucked him thinking she was cool with it. Which, considering the fact that he works in porn professionally, is not a strange assumption. Furthermore, if they aren't in an open relationship and he lied then that's on him. Shit, he lied to me too. Why she felt the need to text me at 8 a.m. is beyond me. Wake your man up, clearly ya'll need to talk. But he works in porn, Ma, you're playing yourself.

So, I look at the text, perplexed by the sheer absurdity of it all. I had to call someone. Sheba's up. I rang her and told her the bullshittery. We figured that since my number was in his phone under PinkVixxxen, in order for her to put two-and-two together, she must have read the blog. He had posted links on his Twitter page when I wrote them, and if BabyMomma, P.I. was snooping in his phone, surely, she checked all his tweets. (Let me mention, how odd I thought it was for him to tweet the links, seeing as how I try to help my Subjects remain anonymous with nicknames, but he posted them, so people who knew him, knew he fucked Pink...Stupid) I said to Sheba, "If she read the blog, surely, she commented on the posts featuring him." I was driving, so I asked Sheba to check, and just as sure as I'm a pimp, the jilted BabyMomma, P.I. had commented. Here and here. I could give a fuck about her man, and I hope my not responding to her ass let her know that I don't want go that route. And the funny thing is, the comments were posted almost a month before I received the text message, so that means this drama had been going on a minute. Nevertheless, I'm not getting into a back and forth with her. She's pissed, and unfortunately, directing her attention to the wrong person.

See, now this is where people stop being polite...and start getting real! I'm pissed that I have this shit in my universe right now. I mean, I let this Dude stay in my house, and he let his broad come at me like that? Shit. I couldn't get a heads up? Nah, he let BabyMomma, P.I. handle his dirty work. That shit ain't kosher. Which is why I'm blasting them both. Next time you fuck up, follow the rules, Chief!

Rule 1: Dude, "Get Your Bitch!" Keep your bullshit in-house. There is no reason EVER, why a bitch like Pink should be getting text messages, blog comments or any communications from some woman who caught her guy out there. None. I don't know you, you don't wanna know me. Handle that shit amongst yourselves. And you get an "F", for unsuccessfuly trying to make your girl think a porn dude could be faithful.

Rule 2: If your man works in the sex, music or sports industry, you're a fool to think he ain't fuckin around. And if he does fuck around, you're a fool to think the woman he fucked knows/gives a fuck about you.

Rule 3: If you're going to cheat on your woman, you need to keep it ONEHUNDRED with the chick you fuckin on the side. It's not cool to leave a bitch to get blindsided when your girl is in investigation mode and starts blowing up the spot. If you have already failed to secure your game, it's only a common courtesy to call the other chick and let her know some shit may be about to go down. Not cool, chief.

Rule 4: Try to keep your face and your dick/'gina in separate places on the internet. Don't fuck where you Tweet. (A rule I should have heeded)

Rule 5: If you don't have your shit together, don't fuck with Pink.



Ever had some other couple's drama blow up in your face? Tell us about your "Get Your Bitch" moment.