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Thursday, November 25, 2010

HNT: I am Thankful for...

So, today as I'm sure many people did, my partner and I were discussing the things that we were thankful for. While my list scripted of the typical family, friends love and health, my partner's list was a little more along the lines of your ass, your breasts, your mouth, your pussy!
"C'mon, I'm serious. Be serious!"
"I am serious! I am thankful for you babe, and thus everything about you that makes me crazy! From your sense of humor … to your nipples! you know I fucking love your nipples! I love sucking your nipples, just pulling them and flicking them and watching you squirm. You know you love when I suck your nipples. Aren't you thankful that we both love your nipples?"
"Yeah. I think it's pretty safe to say I'm DAMN thankful for that babe." (I have to admit, I'm a bit of a nipple whore; any nipple play is likely to have me confessing my deepest, darkest secrets.)
"See! It's great to be thankful for the big things, you just should be thankful for the little BIG things too!"
All that nipple talk and the then empty bottle of wine that was being rolled between my thighs, led to the conclusion of a great Thanksgiving Day!
So, during this holiday season, I encourage you to be thankful for the 'little BIG' things!

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy HNT!
What 'little BIG' things are you thankful for?

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Friday, November 12, 2010

countertop: finding power in being bottomed

i’m sitting on the counter in my kitchen, feeling a little like a young girl; legs swinging. she’s cooking and moving easily around my space. the kitchen is her domain, for sure. she’s cheerily telling me some story to which i’m not actually listening. how could i be? she's at my place for the evening, and it’s been too long since we last spent time together. i see her mouth moving. there are words dancing out of it that i’m not hearing. it’s smiling the way it does when she says something she’s particularly satisfied with, and i can only imagine that mouth on me. she moves near to where i am but then away, busy assembling ingredients for the dinner we’re going to make together. my anticipation and hunger for her, not our dinner, is growing. i smile back and wait.

it would be accurate to say that in my relationships with women in the past, i have been a total top. dominant, to be sure. the driver, always. the top both literally and figuratively. i’m never beneath. never bottomed. rarely too open. never overexposed. not so much with this girl. so the waiting for her to move is new for me, and surprisingly exhilarating and delicious.

she comes close to where i’m sitting. she leans down and reaches for spices from the cabinet adjacent to my swinging legs; her generous palm landing casually on my thigh. finally, she touches me! i shift a little under her hand from excitement, and to tell her i’m wanting. she almost always listens to my telling, which is maybe part of what makes the vulnerability of saying, safe, for a new bottom like myself. rising up she looks at me with her mischievous eyes that i love so much. she grins and kisses me full on my mouth. at first the kiss seems simply to be an acknowledgment that i’m there, before she returns to her task... her full soft lips lightly on mine. but instead she lingers there. pressure on my mouth harder. her whole body leaning a little into mine. my legs that she’s standing between sliding open just a bit, to welcome her. her soft pink tongue brushes my lips, taking a taste. savoring. a sigh escapes my lips. we open our eyes. smile. she moves away and returns to the food and her story.
this taste of her only serves to make me more distracted. animatedly, she’s telling her tale. she’s laughing, arms waving as she talks, the way they do. all i see is her dark chocolate brown skin that i want to feel next to mine. the space between her neck and collar bone where i love to bury my face and breathe. my favorite part of her back that slopes and sways and invites my hand to rest there; my mouth to kiss it. her lovely round ass that i can nearly feel spilling out of my hands…wonderfully too much to hold all at once. her thick thighs that make my mouth water as i imagine what lies nestled between them. i take a deep breath and shift again on the cool counter top. our eyes meet and i know she sees me hungry. wanting. still waiting, i’m perhaps getting impatient.

sometimes this new locale of mine….more toward the bottom… is positively exhilarating: the not knowing where i’m going… the waiting and wanting… the not being the one driving… letting her do the bidding? and mostly exciting. but other times it makes me feel a little out of my depth. vulnerable? for me, there has been control and power…thus safety? security? being the one on top. being the one who directs the movement. that’s the place i’ve always inhabited. it’s comfortable for me there. openly wanting? letting her see that? is not only sometimes frightening, but certainly seems to be something i want to feel and also want to give her. this phenomenon is inexplicable and without any other context, in my world. and watching her respond… take care of? getting her to do what i want? seems to somehow pass back to me some of the power i might have thought was being given up. this is essentially completely challenging my existing notions of top/bottom dominant/submissive powerful/weak strong/vulnerable. i’m discovering that the line between top and bottom is sometimes quite blurry.

she strolls toward me, for what i assume is more seasoning, or some desperately needed kitchen utensil for whatever it is she’s concocting. meanwhile, i’ve forgotten entirely about the dinner. or could it be that maybe she’s coming near for more touching and kissing? instead she ambles right past me. i sigh a little. frustrated. kind of starving and perhaps pouting, some. maybe even slightly embarrassed that my wanting is so evident and she’s perhaps ignoring? still on my kitchen counter perch, i don’t even turn around to see where she’s gone.

when she reappears within my view, in her hand i see a round, beige cushion. she drops it nonchalantly onto the floor in front of where my feet are dangling. without saying a word, she kneels on it in front of me. my breath stops short in my throat, as i anticipate where she’s going. i’m relieved that my need isn’t going to be overlooked. i think i’m about to become the appetizer and i’m positively giddy about that realization.

she looks up at me eyebrows raised, confidently places her hands on my knees, and spreads my legs open wider. her hands slip knowingly under my cotton skirt, sliding it up, exposing snowy white thighs that i’m sure she can feel trembling. her hands reach behind me and authoritatively pull me closer to her face. lifting up the front of my skirt, she again spies the irreverent patch of red that hides there, and she giggles. i love that.

i am wet and short of breath and more than ready for her mouth to find me. i wiggle forward on the counter top tipping my hips a little skyward, to be more within her reach. she leans in between my legs, inhales deeply and sighs. i know she’s hungry. in this position i feel vulnerable: exposed and open. i feel powerful: her on knees before me… beneath me, clearly wanting. i spread my legs and move further forward as she dives between my thighs to take her first taste. the familiar moan comes from deep in her throat. the one i almost always hear when her lips first touch mine. there. it simultaneously makes her dominant and not, and i’ve come to wait for it. i long to hear it.
she takes her time. her slippery tongue laps up the wetness that she finds there between my legs, causing me to shiver. gently at first, she licks my clit and then pulls it between her tongue and top lip. she begins to suckle. my hips are involuntarily rocking in rhythm with her movement: back, forth, back, forth. the backs of my thighs resting on each of her shoulders now, i reach back to brace myself on the counter. a breathy sigh escapes my lips. she answers back with a moan. i remember her words; that i’m ‘the most delicious she’s ever tasted,’ and push myself further into her mouth. i’m singing…sighing…moaning. first cum is approaching. i can feel it creeping up inside. i know she knows it too. the tips of my toes are beginning to tingle. there is heat rising in my flushed cheeks as she rocks me not-so- gently on the cold granite kitchen counter. tremors are taking over my legs as i get closer to the edge. sucking harder, her teeth sharply graze my clit and it’s all over. colors explode behind my closed eyelids. as i cum in her mouth, my thighs are shaking. my vagina throbs and pulses and drips wet. she holds on tight to my ass so i can’t get away, as she dives further into my pussy... drinking in every sweet drop. where her fingers pressed hard into my pale skin will be left the bruises i adore. bruises that i will later run my fingers over, tender and sore, and remember this yummy exchange between us. 

catching my breath, i hang my head….deliciously foggy and satisfied…for a minute. for now. i mean, i am a redhead. ; ) and i’ll be wanting again, soon. her head rests heavily on my thigh…long graceful fingers reverently stroking my hip. power and vulnerability exists for each of us in this space, where the distance between top and bottom is shorter than i ever imagined.

When's the last time your top was bottomed?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

HNT: I am OH-SO Thankful For...

Turkey, Pumpkin Pie and..

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”
- Anais Nin

Happy happy HNT!
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Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Hello? Is there anybody out there?



We know. It's been far too quiet.

Give us a few days.

We'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

fuck me, sunshine

long quiet weekend away
visiting friends
gracious home…beautiful grounds
mango cocktail--lovingly made by my host
now nearly gone
liquor deliciously warming my chest and belly

supine on my chaise
intoxicating cornflower blue sky
summer sun blazing

thoughts of her drifting in
my girl
missing her so

bent knees...soles of my feet rest on sizzling canvas cushion
legs parting slightly
allowing sun's rays
to creep quietly between my thighs
shock of warmth
fuck me, sunshine

her full soft lips on mine
pulling my bottom lip into her mouth

open legs wider
pussy drinking in sunshine

serious eyes turn mischievous
kissing me
feasts on my mouth hungrily
my neck
pink nipples
a sigh escapes her lips

tip my hips skyward
reaching for the sun
seeking her mouth
fuck me, sunshine

ease legs open a bit more
sun burning sweetness between my thighs
ablaze now
audible moan slips out of my throat
recalling her mouth on me
her lips
wrapped around my clit
suckling… pulling… teasing… relentless
then her teeth.. Mmmmmmmm… the teeth!

open legs the widest
rays reach inside me
warmth radiates deep
hips rocking slow
her tongue thick
seeking my center
me...panting now
fuck me, sunshine

my host returns
standing over me
pitcher in hand
to mercifully refill my glass.

When was the last time someone had you as hot as the summer sun?

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Trust is not something that is given. Trust is something that you earn.

So much of the poly lifestyle is about trusting. Do I trust my partner to be honest with me? Do I trust my lover to respect the boundaries of our relationship? Do I trust myself to not become jealous? Do I trust myself to not love too hard, too soft, too blind, too broad?

What does it mean…to take care of someone you love? I used to know the answer to that question. It came in the form of selfless devotion - acquiescence without regard for self. A level of giving and gift that could not be matched or likely returned ever. That is to a large degree simply who I know myself to be, and so the doing was not hard, it was an extension of my best self.  It was the only way I knew.

But what happens when self is reborn? When needs change, when devotion takes on a new tenor? How to take care when the caring seems in part to require losing? A bit of you.

If I am honest I will admit to having failed a bit miserably the last few months.  Failed to be the version of me I know. The version I like and respect. The lover I prided myself in being. To have been selfish. To have mistreated. To have violated trust. To have hurt deep and repeatedly.

So where is the corner? And how can I make the turn? Not to go back, but to move ahead in some new direction. To find a space where all possible. I am looking, nearly every moment it seems. For somewhere other than here. More certain. More clear. More sustainable.

I don’t have directions, or even so much as a compass. There is no map. How to find my way then?

Have you ever wanted to be somewhere else but had no idea how to get there?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Feeling the Charge

You've denied this part of yourself for a long long it hurts to think about it, and not the good kind of hurting. Not the pain you're looking for tonight.

Everything has happened so fast these last few weeks. Max would disagree, would look at you and remind you of how very patient he's been, waiting until you were ready for him. Ready for this.

Ready to give up control.

It is still new between the two of you. Only one previous date, but a lot of talking and texting and some phone sex and real sex and a deep connection and this....this other connection. This need and trust and knowing. When his beast meets yours.

Later, you'll send him a poem by a friend, with the refrain "I am the beast beneath fair skin."

But now, you're watching, waiting. Taking your cues from him. You've played before of course, but again, it has been a long time. And you've never ever tried this before.

He's already stripped off your skirt and top, and seemed pleased at the little lacy thing you picked up this weekend. You're still wearing it. And the fishnet stockings.

He puts on music, and you're thankful for it, sure that otherwise he could hear your heart beat.

He plugs in the toy, and at first its just a kind of glowing ball of electricity, like the ones at children's museums you remember.

He he stalks you, his prey. You know he can feel your apprehension, and you hope he can feel the excitement as well.

*ZZZZZZZZZZZZAP* The little ball of electricity makes contact with your arm. You jolt, more in surprise than anything else, and then you lie down again, quietly, watching. You haven't had time to think about what you're feeling.

*ZZZZZZZZZZZAP* down your side, and its like this wispy little lace teddy isn't even there at all. Its a biting, pinching, needle-feeling. It feels like getting shocked. Of course it does. And shockingly enough, you like it.

*ZAP* again. Again. Again. Down your thighs, between your legs, just not close enough... and the current is running through you, warm and welcome and punishing and pulsing, and sooner than you know it your pussy is soaking and your hips are'd ride that damn bulb if he'd let you.

And he stops. You gasp, and look up, trying not to make eye contact, trying to be a good submissive, but you want to know what's going on.

He speaks....and his voice is different. You've always liked his voice, from the beginning, from before, but this is different. Soft but firm....velvet wrapped around iron, or like a Ferrari tire running over fine gravel.

"Just wait."

You'd wait years. He pulls off the bulb, and adds a different attachment, a long ...probe. This will focus the electricity a bit more, you realize.

After he sends electricity running through you with the long shaft, you're panting. And he isn't done. Out comes something that looks...that IS...a small glass rake. You gasp, and realize you're nowhere near apprehensive. You're needy and wanting and wet and ready for whatever he wants.

Again he starts with your arms, raking your skin, sending hotwhitepurplesharp sparking all the way through you...all the way to You, your core, the part you've hidden so long you sometimes pretended it wasn't there. He's raking down your stomach now, teasing your shaved pussy area, and you can't help it anymore, you arch and gasp and cum, riding this beautiful lightning streaking through your body.

And he isn't done.

The next attachment comes out. Is that...tinsel? It looks like a duster made out of tinsel and you stifle a giggle and then OH SHIT. A thousand tiny fingers of hot white electric lust shoot through you, and you cry out, a wordless aching cry.

He smiles. Like a jackal.

You'd told him your safeword before this all started, and you haven't said it yet. Truth be told, you've never said it (though later...not much later...this would change with Max.)


Oh yes. Yes please. Yes Sir.

At some point the teddy is gone, but you leave the stockings on, and the garter.

There's a tiny metal wheel attachment next. You look closer, and see there are tiny spikes all over the wheel.


In the five seconds it takes for him to attach the wheel to the charger and start working you over, you realize this is It. You've found your match, someone who doesn't play around with playing. Someone who is able to give you as much pain as you can handle, at long last. Someone who may be able to give you more than you can handle, and oh, you've ached for this.

And then all your thoughts are gone and he's running that wheel over your pale tender skin, causing your blood to boil and your breath to cease and your mind to start floating away on pure sensation. There are hot angry red trails running across your arms, your breasts, your belly and thighs, but you don't care....your body arches and you come again and again.

And he's not done.

He takes off the wheel, and he does something and then tucks the charger into the back of his jeans. He spreads your legs apart, and there's that Ferrari voice again...

"Don't arch."

And you realize a second too late what he's doing. Not that you'd stop him. Oh, not ever.

His tongue laps at your shining clit, and you can see the blue arch of electricity a second before you feel it and OH OH OH you're cumming and shaking from trying not to move too much and oh gods he's doing it again.

The endorphins are kicked up so high you really do feel like you're floating away, and you don't even register it when he carries you into the bedroom and strips off his clothes, but you come down enough to arch and thrust and push and clench when and cum, again and again and again, until one final time, when he looks you in the eye and growls, and you haven't said it yet, and you're still the same kick ass woman you've always been, but you're also irreversibly, His.

And for months, you can't stop telling people about the wonders of the violet wand.

When was the last time you were jolted into a new experience?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

...and all that JAZZ!

It’s hard, living in such a small town, to play the way you want to. Even with an understanding boyfriend, it’s as if I’m stifled by the constraints of my not- so- modern- day society. With the past experiences I‘ve had with females, I’ve always kept them as drive-bys. I’m always very clear that I have a boyfriend and that I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not bragging by any means but seriously, I seem to have a strange effect on the girls; they tend to want more than I can offer. So since I’ve moved back home I’ve tried to show restraint and avoided them (girls and encounters) all together. But alas old habits die hard.
Completely put out by the usual bar hopping, I reluctantly ventured out with friends a few weeks ago to the local rainbow watering hole. Figuring maybe I’d see something that would tease me or whom I could tease without actually getting myself into trouble I went in not expecting much of anything but a good time with my boys. As usual the music was great and the girls and boys were out to play in all their night marauder regalia. While I found my groove in the corner I started looking around the room taking in my surroundings. All the regulars were here it seemed and so I let loose and slipped into oblivion. I started dancing and losing myself in the music when all of a sudden I felt eyes on me-- hot, hungry eyes. I looked across the bar but saw no one. Paranoia is a bitch! I’m way too antsy…SHOT! Pronto!
I knocked back a shot and had just started dancing with my friend JB when he said to me,

“She is eating you alive, sis!”
“I dunno- new trade! My 1, your 7. Going to investigate.”

I turned trying to subtly glance over my shoulder but I couldn’t see who he could’ve been talking about. All I saw was mostly regulars- two girlz- coupled up and a few boyz. The only one I didn’t know was a caramel skinned boy with a skater boy swagger. He had a lip piercing, full arm sleeves, ear gauges and was definitely not from here. He was pretty as hell! My boyz were gonna have a field day in here with him tonight! I noticed that JB had made his way over to the group and was chatting it up with the pretty boy. TYPICAL! JB smiled at me and then so did Pretty Boy. I smiled back and winked tossing up cheers with my drink before turning back to my boyz and continuing to dance. The sweaty, hot atmosphere was turning me on. My head was starting to swing and I could feel myself getting lost in my surroundings. My shirt was drenched and I was positive you could see my nipple piercings through my shirt, but I didn’t care. I unbuttoned the top button of my top to get some air to the girls and the sweat trickled down into my cleavage. As I reached in to mop it up I looked up and Pretty Boy was watching me across the bar. I bit my lip and threw him a face mimicking how hot it was. He licked his lips slowly and softly, smiled and nodded in agreement. Damn if I ever wanted to be a gay boy it was fucking now!
I was about to order another drink when, the bartender brought one over to me saying, “For you my dear…” and before I could ask from who, he gestured at the crowd “…from an admirer!” My eyes darted through the crowd looking to see a familiar face or at least someone looking to see my reaction—nothing! As I sipped my drink and danced to Ms Minaj’s Your Love, I felt a hand along the lower part of my back, heat against my neck and a low whisper in my ear.

“So, how much of a tease is it that the sexiest chick in here is not only straight, but taken!”

I turned to see what crazy ass friend of mine was fucking with me now and to my surprise it was the Pretty Boy! He had his head at a tilt and was looking down. I started to say Well I don’t see why either of those things would bother you when he licked his lips and smiled. Wait a minute- am I seeing right! I dabbed the sweat from around my eyes and licked my lips back. I was tipsy as hell and homie was looking better than a cold drink on a hot summer day! I replied,

“That is so fucked up! Where is that bitch, I need to have a word with her!”
He laughed, “Haha, Yeah you know I mean you!”
I giggled, “And just who may I ask am I teasing exactly?”
He raised his hand in the air claiming responsibility and a smooth raspy voice with a West Coast tinged accent rolled out.
“That’d have to be me, ‘cause I don’t think that anyone in here has been as busy watching you all night as I have. You from here?”

If he licked those lips one more time I might forget that my man was only a phone call away, embarrass myself and jump this gay boy! What was this anyway, what was his thing? Wait! Was he Bi, because fuck that shit, I don’t play that way! Just as I was about to get pissed off JB popped up behind him and started pointing at him while mouthing something--- something that looked a lot like That’s her!! I choked a little on my drink and pulled my attention back.

“Huh, yeah, I’m from here. You’re CLEARLY NOT!” I probed, “I’m Lexi by the way!”
“Jazz. Nice to meet you Lexi. I’ve been figuring out how to approach you without you being scared off all night. I know you don’t like girls but I had to tell you that I’ve been watching you all night and I think you are sexy as hell; your energy, your whole style—is just crazy! I just couldn’t leave here without telling you how jealous I am of your man, I’m not gonna crowd you but I really wanted to see you close up—ya know…” and she leaned in closer to my ear “see if you smell as good as you look!”

She licked her lips and then giggled- a bashful charming smile left on her face. Damn, damn, damn! Why is this bitch here trying me? I’m not usually even attracted to butch girls but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to know more, to hear more, and to taste those lips.

“Ay, so I know you not flying my way but we could be friends though?!”
I gave her a mean side-eye. She laughed.
“What? I have straight female friends—besides I can dream right?”

I bit my lip ordered two shots and two drinks—we downed the shots I grabbed the drinks handed her one and gestured for her to follow me outside onto the balcony. I didn’t know what way this was gonna go but I certainly didn’t need these bitches in here bearing witness.
We stood out there drinking and talking, smiling and flirting. I couldn’t even pretend that I wasn’t completely turned on and intrigued by this girl. She was unlike any girl I had ever been attracted to and I couldn’t explain my infatuation. The way she spoke, the way she stared in my eyes when she asked me questions, the way she kept finding excuses to get close to me. Her tattoos were just icing on the cake! Not butterflies or fairies, but instead flames, dragons and evil clowns lured me to touching her. Tracing them with my fingers, she trembled as my hands touched the tattoos on her neck. She turned to face me grabbing my hands, her lips just inches away from mine. Then she slid her hand up around the back of my neck and pulled me close to inspect the tattoo behind my ear she brushed her lips across it gently and a gasp escaped my lips. She pulled my face towards her and kissed my lips softly at first, almost hesitant. My head spun—her hands wrapped around me and pulled me closer to her kissing me harder. Stroking my neck and grabbing my hair firmly, she pulled back my head and lightly licked and nibbled my ear, my jaw, my neck, my chest. As her tongue plunged into my cleavage I swear I could hear a sizzle as the wetness from her tongue cooled the heat from my body. She had me pressed against the wall kissing me and rubbing me all over. Her hands slid down to my hips, under the curve of my ass, between my thighs slowly but surely stroking me, rubbing me, drawing the moistness through my black spandex. She grabbed my breasts in firm, gentle handfuls biting my nipples through my shirt and sliding down until her face was buried in my pussy. I was trembling under her touch, I wanted to rip my pants off and straddle her beautiful face riding it until I came all over it. She stood up again kissing me and pushing her tongue into my mouth.
I wanted her to taste me; I felt like I needed her to! I wanted her to slip her tongue deep into the wet pulsing crevices between my thighs and taste what she had done to me. As she slid her hands down my pants roaming towards the heat radiating from my pussy I held my breath, and as her fingers found my wetness slippery and tantalizing we both moaned- me in pleasure and her in lust!

“I wanna taste you so fucking bad! I have to taste you!” she gasped.

Just as I was about to tell her that I was ready right there and then, we were interrupted. JB cleared his throat. We both jolted to pull ourselves together, both still panting, hearts racing, clits pounding.

“Uh, sorry to break up the party but Jazz your friends are ready and were about to send out a search party…”
“Okay, thanx man! Tell them to gimme like five minutes?! Hey can you do me a huge favor, can you grab me a pen?”
“Will do!”

JB smirked at me gave me the Dr. Evil finger and disappeared back into the club. We both stared at each other longingly. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. There was no way we could leave together. It was bad enough that JB had witnessed this tryst. She held my hands tightly, and kissed my forehead, and then my lips. She put her forehead on mine, still stroking my breast.

“This is some bullshit! I have to see you again. I’m leaving tomorrow night but I’m staying at the Hotel by the Casino. I’m gonna give you my room number, if you can come by later or tomorrow, just call me. Please just try. Please, please try!”
“I will—I’ll try!”
She kissed my hands, my neck, my face. JB came back with a pen and paper and disappeared. Jazz’s entourage was downstairs and growing impatient.
“Come on Jazz, man! Ms. Thang ain’t playing your game no way!”
We laughed.
“I’m coming!!!” she called out.
She scribbled her hotel room number and her cell number in Cali.
“In case you can’t ya know, If I don’t … if you’re ever on my coast—EVER, you call me!?!”
I bit my lip and nodded. She kissed me hard one last time.
“Call me sometime?”
I nodded. As she got to the door she turned one last time, she put her fingers under her nose, and then slid her fingertips into her mouth. She closed her eyes and licked her lips.
“Damn—!”, she whispered.

I blushed, she smiled and like that she was gone. I watched her walk away from the balcony, my body still pulsing, my heart thumping. What the fuck was that? I slid down the wall, my head in my hands. What the FUCK was THAT? I opened my eyes at JB’s foot tapping next to me.
“Come on sister! Let’s get you a shot and let’s dish, ‘because you look like he just left with something of yours.”
“Yeah… but I’m not sure what it was!”

Has the unexpected ever left you feeling jolted to your core?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Dildo Delight

It's 3am and I should be catching up on sleep. Instead, I'm up waiting for hubby to return home from the club. Tonight was a birthday celebration of a friend at a club in the City and I was not in the mood to attend because I was too tired.

Hubby must be having a blast because he has not responded to the text messages I sent a few hours ago asking if he was having a good time. I just upped the anty and texted him, "find a cute chick and bring her home." I'm sure I'll be receiving a call shortly asking if I'm high because although we're open and have an alternative lifestyle, we're not that open. LOL. For the record, I don't smoke.

I'm perusing Frederick's of Hollywood's website for new outfits. The one I currently have on is a sexy lavendar cami and short set and I can't wait for hubby to rip it off. Tonight feels like an anal night - I'm in the mood to be gently torn open. The Analease in on the side table along with the baby oil and I'm looking forward to hubby lubbing his dick with baby oil and moistening my anal opening with the Ease. The hardest part is the initial penetration and then it's easy street from there. I'm too horny to make love tonight so instead I'm mentally and physically excited about getting fucked - in the ass. :-)

I took a break from this post and poured baby oil over the smaller of my dildos until it was thoroughly wet and dripping. I turned on my side until I found a comfortable angle in which to insert the dildo. Initial discomfort set in but I literally pushed past the pain until all 5 inches fit in comfortably. After a few minutes, the dildo felt nonexistent so I upped the ante to the larger dildo. WHOA-big difference. I tried to ram it in but that didn't work - it was too wide with a circumference of 5-6 inches (see for yourself in the pic). I recoiled in pain and then slowly and rhythmically inserted it and pulled it out. My moans grew deeper as the pain from forcing the large dildo into my ass turned into pleasure.

It's now almost 5am, I'm relaxed and at ease. Hubby is still not home but it's all good - I'm sated enough to sleep comfortably. Ideally, I'll soon be woken up by the moist feel of his lips sucking my breast.

When's the last night you masturbated?

Friday, July 16, 2010

Raphael = Ravenous Erika

Thoughts of Raphael have me sexually ravenous. He's 6', dark, handsome, of black and Hispanic descent, wears size 10 shoes, has a warm aura about him, is friendly, always smiling, and cracking jokes. So what you may be thinking?

Well, where do I start with this story!?!? I am in a committed relationship though open, he is in a closed committed relationship with his girlfriend who is expecting (as in a baby) and we work together. At work, I wear a mask of utmost professionalism, I keep the kidding to a minimum and often come across as uptight. However, I'm beginning to slip. Raphael works in the mail room of my largest client and I've been seeing him a lot more lately since the terms of my contract changed and I've had to work more hours onsite. The increased onsite hours allow me to linger around him longer that necessary - submitting my package requests, inquiring about internal delivery and pickup times (the schedule hasn't changed in years) and finding ways to get into his personal business.

I have a rule about mixing business with pleasure because often times the crossover does not end well and I cannot afford to have my reputation tainted or more importantly, to have my client relationship jeopardized.

However, my strong desire for Raphael is forcing me to unwisely rethink my position on this topic. He has "man hands-" thick and large and ideal for fully palming and pumping my ass. When I see him, I envision his hands making their way under my blouse en route to my breasts. My nipples harden and I forget to breathe as his hands yank my boobies free from my bra. My body shakes as my heavy boobs plop into his hands, bouncing off of my chest. He leans in for a soft surface kiss, turned a passionate tongue kiss (including slurping and heavy wrestling) as he squeezes my nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. My pussy reacts by forcefully contracting and my thighs begin to rock, uncontrollably thrusting upwards. "AHHHHHHH," I moan into his mouth, disrupting our tonguing session. I grab the back of his head and move it towards my right breast, cupping and massaging my boob as though I am milking myself to feed him. He licks my nipple oh so gently before placing his hands over mine and squeezing my breasts. He feeds insatiably - engulfing as much of my breast as he can, sucking me off the way I'd like to suck his cock. Then he's biting my nipples, moving back and forth between both breasts and causing it to rain in my pants....

These thoughts are dangerous. For everyone knows, you should,

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

My thoughts have already become words, for I am writing this post. I'm afraid (read excited) that my words may soon become actions. Playing with Raphael on a regular would be a nice habit - off the client's premises of course. Now about this character bit, luring a "good" guy into cheating on his "straight laced" girlfriend goes against my character and what I believe in. Yep those quotes are from Raphael - he's a self proclaimed good guy and his girlfriend is straight laced. The contents of this convo will be described in another post. Anyway, what type of woman would I be to lead him astray? What about his girlfriend? I don't know her but there is a sister code that I should follow. Of all the available men in NYC, why must I have him!?!?!?!?! **Sigh**

Ever wanted someone who was off limits? What was the outcome?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Am I The Last Unicorn?

So thanks to the beautiful Sheba, I've joined the other lovely women at The Kink Chronicles. I'm Shadowclit. This first post is going to be more cerebral than clitoral, but I promise there's plenty of hotness to come.

Though I skate under the radar at work, I'm bisexual, polyamorous, and when it comes to kink-and oh how I love it when it comes to kink- I'm a switch. That's right: If there's a fence to straddle, I'm going to straddle it. And anything/one else that strikes my fancy.I enjoy having my mind and my body stimulated, and my body and my boundaries pushed. I thrive on intellectual intercourse and hard dirty fucking. I often do things others don't approve of, and sometimes do things others would fear. I'm fierce and loyal and caring and sexy as hell.

I'm also a Unicorn.

I was having dinner with Sheba recently, discussing multiple partners and the fact that I have re-entered the dating world. I mentioned meeting one couple that definitely...peaked my interest. In describing the dynamic, I mentioned something about being a Unicorn. Sheba was unfamiliar with the term, and suggested I make my first post on the topic.

A Unicorn is a bisexual woman who is willing (and frankly, should be eager) to date a couple, when that couple includes a man and a woman.

Actually willing. Not "will put up with the woman to get some dick" or "will eat pussy to please the man" or "doesn't care about the naughty bits of whoever eats her pussy, but might not reciprocate" or "will only touch women above the waist" or "has sex with women but no romantic feelings" or "goes shopping with the woman but on dates with the man" but actually Willing. (EAGER) To. Date. Them. Both.

We're called Unicorns because we're so rare.

And it strikes me as odd that this one small facet is the one that trips up even some of my more open friends. I like girls and guys? Sure, fine. We all had that one night in college, right? I like pain with my pleasure, both giving and receiving? Sure. Dommes are popular right now in pop culture, and who doesn't like the occasional spank or bite? (Though I like much more than that, but that's for another post.) I believe you can love more than one person at a time? Hey, everyone's seen Big Love!

I want to date a couple?

Girl, that ain't right.

Now, is it the only thing I look for? Hell no. I have a male partner who has several other women partners in his life, and while we're all friends, that's as far as it goes. I have a woman who wants to serve me, but I don't need her to bring a man over as well.

But it is something I heartily enjoy. I'm not looking for a closed triad (oh poly, such wonderful vocabulary that leaves me picturing myself in Little China with an AK47 and plenty of ammo) because I need more relationships than that and my existing relationship is here to stay, but the relationships I've had in the past with couples have been fulfilling in every sense of the word.

I'm fiercely independent, and I'm certainly not monogamous. So a couple-two people who are each others' primaries and fill that role well--has worked for me quite well in the past. Like any poly relationship, it works differently for different people--maybe I'm with them separately sometimes and all of us together at others, or maybe it is always all together--whatever works in that particular dynamic of people. But keep in mind--it does involve dating, not just sex. A Unicorn is not a sex toy to kickstart your flagging marriage. I and my fellow horned beauties want to be in a relationship with the two of you--I can find a threesome on my own (and have!) quite easily. This is different. There are long phone calls or flurries of emails and text messages, little romantic gifts and notes and gestures, just like with any relationship--it just goes in more than two directions. Sometimes you're all curled up on the couch, watching bad movies and eating popcorn. With the last couple I dated, we went out to dinner together quite often, and the nasty side of me loved the confusion on the faces of the waitstaff as we all got casually physically affectionate, but didn't exactly love the judgment that often came with it. I lived in the Deep South then, and that's not a climate conducive to Unicorns.

Are there difficulties aside from "catching" a Unicorn? Of course. There are four relationships here, after all. For those of you not math-oriented, let's call the guy A, the female in the couple B, and the Unicorn C. There is the relationship between A and C, between B and C, between A and B, and between A&B and C. So all of that has to be worked out.

I could go on for a long time on the various intricacies and common difficulties, but let's not. Let's talk about how fucking hot the sex can be between three people who know and care about each other. One of the hottest moments in my early twenties--a time when my sex life could have rivaled Tiger Woods' for volume and technique--was driving my tongue into B's wet pussy and feeling the pulse of A's cock and the contractions of B's muscles as A fucked her ass, and later sliding my own slick pussy down his shaft while her tongue lapped at his cock and my cunt.

There were wonderful moments of watching the two of them. B has a hard time cumming (poor thing) and it was incredible to see the way A knew just how to fuck her right over the edge. Sometimes I'd lie back and watch as he forced her onto her knees, a hand buried in her hair, forcing her head back while he pounded into her. I do love my voyeurism.

I also loved watching his eyes (or hers) go dark and their breath go shallow, watching me arch and scream and cum all over his tongue, or hers, or his cock, or her fingers. I do love my exhibitionism.

And afterward we snuggled and watched The Sopranos.

I'm not dating a couple right now, though as I mentioned above, there is a Possibility. We'll just have to wait and see.

What are you searching for?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Rapper's Delight

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a dope blog to stroke to...

Before I went off on a hella long hiatus from writing, I mentioned one of my newest friends, MC Dingaling, the rapper. He was on his way down for a visit, and I was excitedly anticipating a weekend with new dick. When he got into town, this is a brief rundown of how it went:

I love it when you call me Big Poppa...

I knew he was gonna handle me, because he's not a small guy. Not notoriously b-i-g, but big enough to slap me up, flip me and rub me down with ease. Things jumped off nicely. He went straight in, teased me with a short oral session and then commenced to beat it like he'd just gotten out of jail. Just as I would come down off of one orgasm from one position, he would put me in another position and work on the next one. After cumming a half dozen times, I rode his dick, bucking up and down on him until I returned the favor and made him O-face somethin' serious!

We took a break, and before round two began, he laid me out on the bed and picked up where he left off from the earlier oral session. Holy shit. Being a rapper and all, I already knew he had a way with his mouth, but DAYUM! He had me lifted up off of the bed and trying to run away. My toes were curling and I was calling out all sorts of deities. He sucked and tongue-fucked the hell out of my pussy, and I came in his mouth until I was ready for some more dick.

From the windows/to the walls/Til the sweat drop down my balls/Til all these bitches fall/Aww skeet, skeet, muthafucka...

I stood up to bend over onto the bed and my legs were so weak, I ended up on the floor. He told me to stay there and put me on my back in the small hallway between the closets in my bedroom. My legs were pushed up to my chest and he fucked me hard. Shit. I mean hard. I kept my eyes closed, because every time I opened them, I felt like my head was spinning. It could have been the good dick I was getting, or it could be that the blood was quickly rushing to my brain from my knee-over-head position, and I was on the verge of blacking out. Before he inadvertently knocked me unconscious, we changed positions, and got back onto the bed. Now, it was my turn.

I leaned over his lap and started sucking him off. I paced myself, because I knew that the pussy had brought him close to the edge. I alternated between sucking his dick and stopping to suck his nipples and tease him by licking his neck, chest, lips. I kept this up for a long while, until I knew he was about to cum. Then I stopped. I stopped just long enough for the sensation to go away, and then I rode his dick until he came loud and strong.

This was just the first day, but the weekend was filled with more of the same. All in all the visit was great, but things got hairy when the "R" word came up (relationship). We had both been into each other heavy leading up to the weekend, but when it was time for him to go, I came to a harsh realization.

Oh baby you/you got what I need/But she say he's just a friend/She say he's just a friend

The sex was great, and MC Dingaling is a real sweetheart to me, but I had to pump my breaks. I liked him a lot, but spending the weekend with him in my home not only afforded me with momentary live-in dick, but also the stark reality that I have absolutely no desire to share my space or my life with any one man right now. I know it may sound cold, but it is what it is. Besides, dude was also fresh out of a relationship, and there is nothing worse than a rebound gone bad.

This was, unfortunately, another whirlwind infatuation turned flop. MC Dingaling was a nice guy. Too nice. He was sweet. Too sweet. And he adored me. Too much. I'm too much of a bitch for such a nice guy. I ended up telling him this in one way or another. However, the weekend, and everything leading up to it, was great. Considering my odds, I decided it was smarter to fall back a little bit before the going got tough.

He'll survive, and he will definitely miss this pussy more than he misses me. A truth I am absolutely okay with.

Sometimes dick and a little bit of attention can knock even the best of us off our game. Ever had to check yourself after getting your signals crossed?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Bathroom Break

If I tell you to go to the bathroom right now. To place your hand between your legs, and touch yourself there. To call me as you do it. Imagine me there too, against the wall. Will you? And moan for me?
You want me to?
Will you?
You want me to?
Tell me.
Call me when you are wet, panting and on the edge.
Short of breath. At the table. Sucking on an artichoke.
Sucking. The artichoke. Imagining you in my mouth.
Tell me.what to do.
What are you wearing?
I'm wearing the white shirt you first kissed me in. It still smells like you. And jeans. As usual.
White bra...with lace....that your hands are always in. Lately.
I want you to take the palm of your hand. The space where you palm connects with your wrist and brush it discretely across your nipples. Feel it through your shirt and the white lace of your bra. Feel me.

Your hand, beneath the table. Between your legs. The roughness of the denim against the softness of you there, fullness. And imagine me. Feel me. My hands. My breath on your neck. My panting.

And when the feel of me there is too much. When you are too full, too wet, too sweet. Excuse yourself from the table, go to the bathroom and call me.
--- room. Locked door. The waiter I passed by has no idea. Oh. Men. Tell me.
Your hands. Beneath your shirt.
Your fingers, teasing the tip of those divine nipples. Twirling then tight. The way you like it.
The button of your jeans open. Your hand, fingers teasing. Through the fabric of your underwear.
You should be short of breath and panting sweetly now.
Tell me.
Your fingers, between your lips suckling. And wet then touching yourself there. Inside the fabric. Between the folds. Wet. Full. Wanting.
--- the's freezing. I've been gone too long. I touch ................ feel you. me though.
Shall I talk you through. Do you need me? In your ear?
Wet. Silky folds. Deep breath. Rocking.
Run your hands across. Back and forth with the sway of your hips. Imagine me there. My hands. My hips. Rocking against yours.

Ever find yourself against the cold door of a bathroom stall? in a crowded restaurant? melting?

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, May 22, 2010

HNT: Caught Sleeping..Belated Edition Part III

We all know how this ended up. I was SUPPOSED to be studying and getting work done. I was supposed to post my HNT pics before midnight. I fell asleep. I woke up on my belly with my legs spread open with dick deep in my pussy. There's nothing like being awakened just to get put right back to sleep....

How often do you wake up in the act?

Happy happy BELATED HNT! Better late than never :-)
Visit Osbasso and see who else is playing!


Friday, May 14, 2010

Tangy...then sweet

"The sheets are cool. I'm hot.
Wet. Wanting.
My mouth is watering. Again.
Tell me what you want me to do right now."
I want you to get in your car and come to me again....
I want you to come through the door and not say a word to me.
Gently slip your the index and middle fingers of your right hand into your mouth. Gently. Imagine that it is mine.
Imagine I'm kissing your neck....and you're breathing me in while your tongue rolls around the fingers. Moving very slowly in and out of your mouth...
When they are slippery and wet....bring them to your all around first....teasing.....
Then taking the whole breast in your hand...full and warm. If i were there i would have to taste it....
But you will have to imagine that while you pinch and tug and my mouth is on you sucking .... Biting...just a little...
Your hips are starting to rock...legs opening slightly...
Fingers back in mouth......but this time more hungry
"I want to FEEL it. HEAR it.
Me. Cumming. On your hands.....In your mouth.
Your fingers inside me. Rubbing against that little raised area.
My back arching. Me clenching around your fingers, inside.
My hips flexing up...down
My mouth open. My lip between my teeth, bruising.
Slowly in and out
you...moving, teasing, focused. guiding you.....showing you where I like it.
Me moaning deep. My head moving fitfully against the pillow.
With each stroke a sound escaping my lips. A wimper.
I want.
I want to hear it. In my ear. Lips touching my face.
I want your nipple, the left one. Hard. Tight and aching. In my mouth, between my teeth, my tongue dancing around it, my lips tugging, sucking slow and urgent. I want my hand on your other breast kneading softly teasing the dark nipple between my fingertips, squeezing a little less than gentle. I want my naked thigh, between your naked legs, your hips rubbing into me. I want your heat against me, wet, dripping, afire.
Are you....breathing?
Laying on the bed....imagining you here."
If I ask you to touch yourself right now. Can you? Will you?
"Yes. Are you asking?"
You are soft and wet I imagine. Trembling maybe. Wanting?
Your hands sliding between the folds. Wet now?
A tingle perhaps as the tips of your fingers brush over.
Cum for me. Please.
With the tip of your index finger. Find her. Touch her softly.
Circling around slowly at first. Softly.
The sensation is teasing your toes as you circle calling you close.
"Chest hot
Your hips are leaning into your hand. Arching upward.
Increasing the pressure. Making you urgent.
Move your fingertips back and forth. Deeply.
Faster. So that with each stroke it is as if you are nearing the edge.
"Sooooooo wet
I'm soaked
not yet, please."
And then back...breathe...forward...
Until perhaps you want more than you are giving yourself.
And the desire, pushes the anticipation pushes your body closer...your fingers tingling a bit...your legs flex... your hand wet and want it....need it
imagine me there watching.
Taking your nipple into my mouth. Laving it with my tongue. Calling you. Bringing you over.
I'm here. There. Don't wait.
You're probably quite hot Right now. Everywhere. And full and swollen. There.
Tangy....then sweet.
....Like me.

How do you like yours?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

HNT: Before the BackShot Part II

Dayum!...There's nothing like a great Sex Therapy session in the morning before work...muscles relaxed, body stretched out, juices flowing, blood circulating. I guess that's what I get for thinking I could sneak out of bed, take a shower and get dressed before he noticed I was gone. My pheromones were already in the air and legs still damp from last night's rumble.

This morning was payback for sucking dick like a porn star and making him cum down my throat when he really wanted me to stop so he could fuck me silly. Mmmmmm. It was Sooo worth the wait...see you after work baby.

What do you have first thing? A bit of coffee for your morning milk?

Happy happy HNT! Visit Osbasso and see who else is playing!


Thursday, May 6, 2010

HNT: What Thong? Part I

Sometimes all I want to do is find the perfect pair of panties for my perfect (in my opinion) pair of ass cheeks. Most of the time cotton briefs just won't cut it, boy shorts don't feel too great under my clothing, g-strings dig into the crack of my ass like a piece of dental floss and wearing no underwear at all is just NOT the most appropriate decision (at least not everyday). This is why on most mornings as I reach into my drawer to find the bra and panty set to match my mood half of the set is usually a pretty thong of some sort. I love the way the triangle of material sits right beneath my tail bone and peaks out at the top of my lovely buns.

I love the way the thin band wraps around my waist and holds me like fingertips ready to bend me over and slip in the back door. I love the way the material cuffs my pussy lips and rubs against my clit as I move through my day. I love the way that he--or she--can grab them and pull them to the side rather than take them off when he--or she--wants to taste my juicy clit, or finger my wet pussy, or fuck my brains out. How convenient. I love my thongs...

What's your favorite type of undies??

Happy happy HNT! Visit Osbasso and see who else is playing!


Monday, May 3, 2010


I think maybe i want you to lay in bed with me talking....and drinking.....
I will stand you some point and undress you....gently. Slowly.
When you are completely naked in front of me i will cover you with kisses.......beginning with your face......your mouth......neck.....collarbones....
Each delicious breast....ribs....your soft belly......thighs......shins.....feet......Slow. Deliberate.
Kissing your calves.....the softness behind each knee....the backs of your thighs........that place i love so much: The small of your back.........mmmmmmm
Tracing your spine slowly with my tongue....
Kissing each shoulder blade....the back of your neck....languishing.....relishing.
Only my mouth ever touching you.
Then maybe a nice hot shower....another drink.....your hands sliding over your own body....imagining mine. There.
after....laying you out on your belly on the are warm and open and at ease.
Almost drowsy....
Using only my hands now....starting at your shoulders.....and working my way all the way down to your feet....sometimes with feather light strokes....sometimes with a stronger firm touch.....removing any remaining tension in your are tingling but nearly asleep.
Kissing you again....beginning at your ankles....working my way up....getting feel my breath hot between your thighs....exhaling.....and breathing you sighing....sleepily
Hard kisses where your legs end....softer ones on your tongue wide and soft greeting you. There.
Slow. Savoring.
You wanting more....lifting your hips off the bed pushing yourself against my hungry......eating.....smiling.
My hands under you....palms on your belly....bringing you closer....not letting you get away.
Turning you over on you back.....breast in my sucking....nipples in my mouth one ....then the other tasting and biting..... I'm ravenous.
My hand between your legs.....searching....finding you soft....wet.....eager for my fingers inside you.
My palm hard on your pubic bone......fingers brushing your lips. Soft teasing. You writhing. Pushing hard against me wanting. Sighing.
My mouth finding yours again moaning....tasting....your bottom lip in my mouth. Breath on faces. My voice soft...murmuring...whispering....asking you to
tell me what you want.
My fingers slipping inside you....only a little...following your directions....your hips rocking....muscles clenching around me.
My fingers reaching. my mouth on you. There. Again. teaching me how......panting......cumming.....sighing deep....laughing.

Ever wanted more...more of something that wasn't yours to have?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Another One-Day Stand

It was a cloudy Friday afternoon and I was headed to the airport once again…leaving my home away from home and headed back to reality. I got the airport at the same time I always do, knowing that I wouldn’t have to wait in the long line to get through security and to my gate. Membership has its privileges. It was starting to drizzle as my ride dropped me off in the terminal and I wondered to myself whether or not my flight was going to be on time with the bad weather coming. I don’t know why I didn’t call before leaving like I usually do. As I punched in my confirmation number at the Kiosk I realized I wasn’t going to be going anywhere anytime soon. “Flight Delayed—4:55pm” It was only 12:30. As patient as I am I did not want to spend the next 4 hours waiting around LaGuardia Airport. Even though it’s pretty small it gets really busy and for some reason every time I’m there there’s a million kids running around acting crazy while their parents nestle up in some corner with their laptop and a cup of StarBucks. Nope, wasn’t feeling it. I weighed my options. Do I text the Boo that just dropped me off to come back and get me. I had already had enough of him after spending the entire weekend fucking inside his bedroom. We didn’t leave once and I swear I had made the trip to get my hair done. Oh well. Just gave me excuse to have to go back the following weekend. I decided against that, breezed through security and went to grab something to eat before finding a comfortable (doesn’t really exist) place to sit for the long haul. I was watching the planes sitting at the gates and listening to the annoyed passengers make phone calls to their loved ones advising them of their various ETA’s when I took out my phone to see who I could sext while waiting. As I scrolled through the names I came across one that I had completely forgotten about. I decided to send him a text.

Me: Hey Mr. are you working today?
Him: Yup on my way now why wassup
Me: Text me when you reach
Him: Bet

I sat for another half hour and realized that I was starting to get antsy. I‘d only had sex twice that morning and I could feel myself getting horny again as I closed my eyes and replayed my weekend’s activities in my head. I was just about to take my purse and carry-on bag into a family bathroom so I could try out my new rocket when I felt the vibration of the cell phone in my jacket pocket.

Him: I’m at work Ma what’s up?
Me: I’m here. I wanna see you. Tell me when.
Him: Word? Aight let me bring in this flight first I’ll let you know when I’m cumin up.

My day was starting to look up. He works for the airline I fly and I had met him a few months ago when I was stuck at the airport for 6 hours. I was eating at Burger King (shame on me) and he was on his lunch break. He saw me and immediately came over and sat down to start a conversation. At first I was annoyed as hell because I just wanted to chill and eat but as soon as he sat down three things stopped me right in the middle of telling him I wasn’t available for conversation—his lips, his smile, and his eyes. His lips were sooo juicy and looked super soft, his smile was bright white and his eyes were light brown. I’m a sucker for dark skin and light eyes. That day I just sat there and watched him talk to me even though I wasn’t really listening to anything he was saying. He mentioned something about being 23 years old, with a daughter who was 5, living in Brooklyn and wanting to see me again. I got all that. I had to move on with my life so I gave him my number and we’d been occasionally sexting ever since then. We would always say we wanted to hang out when I came to New York but my schedule never allowed and the only place I ever saw him was in the airport. I was ready to see was he was talking about though.

I was only waiting for about 45 minutes when he texted me to let me know he was coming upstairs and to meet him by gate 5. His uniform shirt was fitting just right and when he hugged me he put his hands around my waist and held me tight. My. Damn. Spot. We sat and talked for a minute and he asked me over and over if I wanted to stay in NYC until the following day so that we could chill when he got off work. I told him no and even though it crossed my mind I didn’t want to have to occupy my time all the way until his shift ended. That would just mean MORE fuckery in the interim since I surely wasn’t going to sit in the airport until after 9pm. He kept biting his bottom lip when he spoke and I finally asked him when his lunch break was. He said it wasn’t coming anytime soon but he could get someone to cover for him for a minute if he wanted to disappear. I looked at my watch and realized I only had about 2 hours before I needed to be back on my flight. At that point I was horny as hell—just from watching his juicy lips and sexy eyes—and needed SOME kind of release. I told him to meet me at the front of the airport in 15 minutes. Shame that I would have to go through the whole process of going through security all over but again, membership has its privileges. I’d worry about that later.

I stood outside in the rain and waited for him as passengers got out of the cars that had brought them to meet their flights. He came outside and looked around quickly, grabbed my hand and began walking. I asked him where we were going and he told me he was taking me to his car. That airport surely needs a better employee parking lot because I swear we were walking forever before we finally reached his silver Charger. He opened the passenger side door for me, walked over and climbed in the other side and pulled me in close to him. His lips were like cotton and after he kissed mine for a few seconds he leaned into my neck and began to kiss me softly there, then on to my collar bone, and down to my chest. I was afraid I was going to wet his car seat just from his kisses alone but I regained my composure and told him he should drive out of the lot for a minute. While he drove I reached over and began to caress the crotch of his pants just to find out what he was working with. He was rock hard and I was more than pleased as I felt my pussy getting wetter. He drove around a few streets near the airport but couldn’t really find a place to post up and go in….I was getting anxious and way past hot and bothered so I told him to pull over in this parking spot on a side street that we’d passed a couple times. As he parked I reached over and unbuckled his pants. I pulled out his dick which was even bigger than what I could feel with his pants on. I leaned over and ran my tongue around the tip of it. Then I stopped and looked up at him. “You want more? I asked him as I licked my lips. “Hell yeah” he said as he grabbed the back of my head and leaned me toward his dick which was standing straight up out his pants. I suddenly wasn’t in the mood to be very sensual. I told him to watch out for cars and people and proceeded to go to town on his super hard cock. It was the kind of blow job you see in porno flicks--slippery, sloppy, wet and nasty. He loved every single minute of it. Through my slurps I could hear him moaning. “Oh shit, what the fuck are you doing…damn baby…right there”. I was getting more and more turned on the more he talked to me and every time he grabbed my head and made me deep throat his thick cock I thought I was going to cum. Thank goodness I’d worn a dress that day because while I sucked his dick I stuck two fingers in my pussy. I was so wet the juices were running down my hand and the sound of my gushing cunt was almost as loud as me slurping up my spit off his dick.

All of a sudden he pulled my head up by my hair and made me stop sucking. He squeezed both of my breasts with his hands and then shoved one hand up my dress to rub my pouring pussy. He rubbed my clit for about two minutes before he finally said “Oh shit, I have to feel that pussy around my dick before you leave NYC today.” He started the car and began to drive around again…stopping at a small privately owned parking lot. The lot was pretty full but there was no attendant when we checked the booth. There was one empty spot toward the back and he quickly backed his car into it. Before he got the car turned off good he went right back to rubbing my nipples and my clit. He pulled the top of my dress down and massaged my breasts before I told him to stop and get in the backseat. Even though the car was a decent size I wasn’t quite sure how we were going to maneuver seeing as though it’d been a while since my last automobile fuck. I figured we’d figure it out as we went along. Before I knew it was bent over in the back of that car, ass in the air and dick in my pussy. I held on to the top of the back seat while he pounded away. I rubbed my clit while he pushed his dick up toward my stomach. I had to take deep breaths to be able to take it all from that position but I kept telling myself how much of a big girl I was. He held my waist and fucked me. He held my breasts and fucked me. He squeezed my clit and fucked me. I was definitely inside of walls of that car screaming. The pain was so good and I didn’t want him to stop. I knew I had to get going though so I could get back to my place in time. Right after he made me cum for about the 3rd time I started to throw my ass back at him. I told him to stay still while I gave him to him and began to slide my pussy on and off his dick. I could feel the head re-enter each time and each time he let out a moan louder than the time before. At once, I squeezed my thighs together some so that I could get a better grip on his cock and make my pussy hold on tighter. “Fuck you are going to make me cum…Don’t stop throw that ass back at me…I’m…About…To…” That did it. He held on to my stomach and pulled me so far into him I swear I could taste the head of his dick in my mouth. He let out a growl that was unlike anything I’d ever heard. After being completely still for a full minute or so he finally pulled out of my pussy. I grabbed a rag he had in his car and wiped my juices from my legs before stepping out to get myself together. We both got back in the car and headed back to the airport—him to work and me to my delayed flight. It was a great afternoon. Every now and then I still text my airport friend, but I know I’ll never fuck him again. Not because it wasn’t great, but because I know he was nothing more than a one-day stand.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I can't fucking wait! I've been excited about the arrival of new dick before, but never like this! You see, I met this musician, specifically a rapper, on one of my various cyber playing grounds--let's call him MC Dingaling.

MC Dingaling and I exchanged basic banter for a few weeks online, on the phone, etc. We've spoken, in vivid detail, about what is to go down when we link up. He's read the blog, so he knows I'm a beast...but there's something different about him. He's the perfect mixture of laid-back and crunk with a side of humor that is an aphrodisiac of its own, in my eyes. He is definitely not the usual suspect. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but I'm diggin it. Nevertheless, he'll be here in a few days, and I want to make sure I'm ready...I just hope he is. To aid in my preparation, I made a list, of things to do to get ready for what I'm sure is to be a fuck-filled weekend!

Fuck Prep For Dummies

1. Postpone all non-essential agenda items. He only has a few days in town, and I want to make sure that I can get as much fucking and sucking in that time frame as possible. If its not a paying job or a dire emergency, its on ice until next week.

2. Primp the punani. Trim it up, get the lips cleaned up and suckable. I'd rather my man focus on the pussy eating, rather than pulling and spitting hairs out of his mouth the whole time. You know, like when you're eating a piece of chicken, only to find unplucked hairs on it halfway in. Totally fucks up the appetite. Not a good look. My cootch gotta stay finger lickin' good!

3. Pick out some sexy shit to wear. Though my guy, like many men, could give a fuck what I'm wearing so long as it comes off, I like to tease, give the eyes something to mingle on before I get buck-ed nak-ed! I need a new fishnet, was thinking about the bodysuit kind.

4. Peaches, Pineapples and Passion fruit. You know what the are what you eat! I already know the punani is delicious (survey says!), but I want to make sure I give him a real taste of Miami with my homemade pussy colada!

5. Polish. Mani and pedi appointment already booked. Apricot scrub on deck to polish up the elbows, knees and heels. There is nothing worst than a crusty bitch rocking fishnets! Absolutely nothing.

6. Purchase: lube, razors, electrolytes, snacks, Japanese bondage rope, ounce of Mary Jane and that fishnet body stocking I mentioned.

I've already cleared my calendar as much as possible, and I'm on my way to pick up the last minute items needed for my weekend with the fresh meat on the yard. Stay tuned for the re-cap...

Monday, April 26, 2010


I want to go eat delicious food...outside in the warm sunlight......and drink delicious much as i want.......

I want you sitting next to me close. Talking. Eating drinking. Laughing

Sometimes your hand resting gently on my knee closest to you.....Maybe while i m telling you a story.
Sometimes your hand stroking my thigh....also gently.....causing my stomach to tighten.......other places to flutter.......maybe while you re talking to me.
I will try to listen.....but watching your mouth move will make me need to lean in and kiss you. Eyes softly.
You reaching under the fabric of my skirt and touching the soft skin of my inner thigh....your fingers slowly reaching further up my writhing a bit in my chair....wet....wanting more......your gaze meeting smiling. Mischievously.

Full but nearly starving we pay our bill and head to the restroom.
We go close and lock the door behind us.
You come toward me....determined....i stumble backward excitedly......We kiss as i fall back, the wall catching us.

Hard kisses on my breath coming faster......wetness streaming out of me for wanting your mouth on me so coming to rest on your knees in front of me. You sliding my skirt up my thighs...Finding me naked underneath.
You smiling. : )

You looking up at me....looking you.
You leaning in and breathing hard and hot between my legs....reaching behind me to pull me into your mouth.
Me sighing with head turned to the side. my hips rocking....back then forth....gently at first......your tongue reaching...your mouth drinking.
me moaning with each rock of my hips that brings you further inside of me......teeth grazing my clit....then you sucking there........hard.
Me whimpering...Begging you to put your hands inside....the way i love the most.
Tightening around your fingers.....singing....rocking a little faster......intent on bringing you further.
Me reaching for something....anything to brace myself.......goosebumps....trembling......tumbling.......i cum in your feel rythmically on your hand.
You moaning too...low...quieter.
You standing up...kissing me on the mouth....i taste me on you.
Me straightening my skirt...we leave.


Ever wanted something which seems just out of reach?

Friday, April 16, 2010

Sometimes I let her

'sometimes she lets me and when she does she talks to herself. in a low voice, she talks the fear away. like last night when her ass was cupped in my hands and she was in my mouth and she whispered and her hips circled faster and her voice began to rise.....'
..from an essay called "sometimes she lets me" in Sometimes She Lets Me: Best Butch Femme Erotica by Tristan Taormino

Sometimes I let her lay her head on my chest...listen to my heart beat slow and strong.....see her skin next to mine......inhale me...

Sometimes I let her lift my skirt up, be suprised again by the unruly curls. Place her face there, breathe deep. Kiss the inside of my thighs from my knee to right at the crease, place her hot lips on my lips down there and then suck gently...

Sometimes I let her take my clothes off. Kissing me as she does...everywhere...leaving fire in her wake..aching

Sometimes I let her lay me down, somewhere soft. Trailing kisses all over my face gently. Nibbling my lips. Sighing as she does.

Sometimes I let her find my breasts. Touching reverently. Taking me into her mouth. Tasting me. Nipples between her tongue and teeth....tantalizing.

Sometimes I let her between my legs. Her hands searching, finding, teasingly touching there, my softness.....velevety lips wet..... learning me.

Sometimes I let her hear me, panting, moaning. Feel my breath on her face. Feel my body, hot and damp against her own. Me full there, dripping there, clenching there, tangy but sweet. wanting her. us. this.

Sometimes I let her. I let her taste me there . Put her lips on mine. Pink against pink. Kissing tentatively at first. Almost like a caress. A welcome. Then deeply, ravenous. Me writhing then perhaps...begging.

Sometimes I let her touch the tip of her fingers at the entrance then go deep.
Find all my special places, our places. Fill me.

Sometimes I let her stay there, inside, kissing me. Feeling me close around her fingers. Hearing me whimper. Pulling her in with my hips.


When's the last time you "let" someone in?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

HNT: Hugenormous!

Now everyone knows that I love myself big, black dick. But when Sheba and I ran up on this dildo in one of our colleague/friends office space, jaws dropped and legs clenched tight. At 13 inches long and what has to be at least 5 inches thick, the dildo modeled after porn actor "BAM" was more than I care to try to handle!

Sheba held it up while I snapped the photo and marvelled at the sight of the thing..wondering how a woman (or, ouch, man) could possibly accomodate all of that manmeat. I had joked about wanting one for Christmas this year, and it was a joke indeed. I'm scared a normal man wouldn't be able to follow after something as massive as Mr. BAM!

Happy happy HNT! Visit Osbasso and see who else is playing!


Monday, April 12, 2010

Cocaine is a Helluva Drug...

"...this is your brain on drugs

....Any Questions?"

I never thought I was the type of girl who would become an addict. I had plenty of other ways to get "high." I am a creative person. I like to make things, write things, I had plenty of friends, a man and all types of shit to occupy my time....but like they say: It only takes one time.

I met Cocaine about 6 years ago. I was dating my ex-husband when he and I met online. He lived in New York, was sexy, confident (cocky as shit) and a fucking freak! The complete opposite of what I was dealing with at home. We talked online, had steamy phone conversations where he would tell me how he would fuck my face until I gagged and my asshole until it gaped. He called me his slut/bitch/whore and make me tell him how I was fucking my asshole, getting it ready for him, and how much I loved it. Shit, he turned me on like it was in his DNA! But, he was an asshole and I knew I had to keep my distance because, I had a thing for assholes. He was coming down to Miami in a few months for Memorial Weekend and I knew that I was going to fuck him--or he would fuck me, rather--but just that ONE time. I had to see if this high was all he made it out to be. I swore I was only going to do ONE line...

Sniff. Mmm. Sniff, Snnniff! The first time that we met, was at a hotel room I was staying at on the beach not far from where he and his entourage were staying. We got into the room and by the time he sat down, I don't think two minutes passed before I asked him to pull out his dick so I could get better acquainted (not my exact words, but it was definitely to that point). I proceeded to introduce myself with what I am sure was the most skilled blowjob he had received to date, and after he fucked my mouth...he commenced to fuck me into a multi-orgasmic stupor that had me trembling. He kept changing me from one position to another, staying longer in the places that made me scream the loudest. My pussy was dripping puddles, and he was slaughtering it. Making me pay for all of the shit-talking that I so masochistically brought to the table. I took his fucking, but after I dropped him off, I came back and balled up into the a goddamn fetal position! Shit, I may have even sucked my thumb. Cocaine had come through and owned my pussy. I believe he rearranged my uterus or something, I was in pain for a few days after his thrashing. But he didn't care. And if I'd bend over, he'd do it all over again.

Thank the goddess he didn't live in Miami, right? Really, that only made it worse. He would talk nasty ass shit to me while I was at work, tease me with pictures of his very large and thick dick...constantly remind me of how he put it down in Miami. I couldn't wait another year. You know, when an addict finds a dealer who has that good shit, she will borrow gas money, take three buses and walk 15 blocks for that stuff. I plotted and schemed and was able to get away from home long enough to spend more time with him during an impromptu trip he made to Miami for what probably were the best three days of our relationship, in general....but not as intense as the time I almost Overdosed. That was the when I went to New York City for Labor Day weekend 2005. My friends in NY thought I was coming to visit them, but I really went up there just to get some of that 'caine.

Snnnnniiiiiiiiffffff. It was right after Hurricane Katrina, and I can vividly remember being bent over and fucked in the ass while CNN was replaying clips of Kanye West saying, "George Bush doesn't care about Black people," Cocaine had my face pressed down in the bed and tears were rolling out of my eyes while he kept pushing down on my back and pushing more of his enormous dick into my ass. It was wet, dirty and super nasty.. and he loved it. My head, pressed hard into the bed, my eyes tearing and rolling back into my head, his dick making me convulse. Orgasms were running one into another and I was seizing, And he didn't care. Cocaine doesn't care about PinkVixxxen, that's how he was treating my asshole. But I loved every sodomizing minute of it. He was my favorite drug. I get goosebumps just reflecting on the encounter.

After the NY trip, I saw him once more before I got married. Then, daily conversations faded into sporadic email and text check-ins, and then to quarterly "Hey, what's going on?" email or IM exchanges. Both of our lives had become busier, we drifted apart, and I think we even missed seeing each other a few Memorial Weekends in a row. It seemed that Cocaine had finally loosened his hold on me.

Well, that's how it seemed. But after I split with my husband, moving into my new place made made way for a reunion with an old habit. Memorial Weekend '09 was when I fell off the wagon. From the moment he got into my car, I knew it was a bad idea. He was rude, sarcastic, borderline disrespectful and several times I wondered if I should just take an 'L" and drop his ass back at his hotel. But I was chasing the black horse and wasn't going to stop until I got a taste. I don't know if he knew I was strung out or not, but this time, he really let me have it. He bent me over, fucked me. Pushed me to my knees and forced me to lick his dick, balls and basically the entire region clean. Bent me over, fucked me some more. Got me back on my knees and choked me with his dick and slapped my face, pulled his dick out of my mouth and spit in my face. As he was forcing me back up to be fucked again, I was kind of repulsed. Did he just spit in my face? WTF?! I didn't think I could have felt more humiliated. Until he forced me on my knees and came all over my lips, cheeks, tits...and my carpet. I'm sure he said something like, "Take that nut, bitch" or something equally demeaning. I can't remember because I was in a Cocaine haze. I staggered into the bathroom to clean up and barely recognized myself when I looked in the mirror. I had been humiliated, slapped, spat and cum on. I came hard in the process, but I felt like shit in the afterglow. I had officially hit rock bottom.

He's coming back again for Memorial Weekend this year, about a month or so away. I'm not having sex with him...I've been sober now for 11 months. He said he just wanted to meet for drinks, dinner...or something. I think I'm going to need to call my sponsor.

You ever had something so good it was bad? Or so bad, it was good?