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Friday, July 2, 2010

Am I The Last Unicorn?

So thanks to the beautiful Sheba, I've joined the other lovely women at The Kink Chronicles. I'm Shadowclit. This first post is going to be more cerebral than clitoral, but I promise there's plenty of hotness to come.

Though I skate under the radar at work, I'm bisexual, polyamorous, and when it comes to kink-and oh how I love it when it comes to kink- I'm a switch. That's right: If there's a fence to straddle, I'm going to straddle it. And anything/one else that strikes my fancy.I enjoy having my mind and my body stimulated, and my body and my boundaries pushed. I thrive on intellectual intercourse and hard dirty fucking. I often do things others don't approve of, and sometimes do things others would fear. I'm fierce and loyal and caring and sexy as hell.

I'm also a Unicorn.

I was having dinner with Sheba recently, discussing multiple partners and the fact that I have re-entered the dating world. I mentioned meeting one couple that definitely...peaked my interest. In describing the dynamic, I mentioned something about being a Unicorn. Sheba was unfamiliar with the term, and suggested I make my first post on the topic.

A Unicorn is a bisexual woman who is willing (and frankly, should be eager) to date a couple, when that couple includes a man and a woman.

Actually willing. Not "will put up with the woman to get some dick" or "will eat pussy to please the man" or "doesn't care about the naughty bits of whoever eats her pussy, but might not reciprocate" or "will only touch women above the waist" or "has sex with women but no romantic feelings" or "goes shopping with the woman but on dates with the man" but actually Willing. (EAGER) To. Date. Them. Both.

We're called Unicorns because we're so rare.

And it strikes me as odd that this one small facet is the one that trips up even some of my more open friends. I like girls and guys? Sure, fine. We all had that one night in college, right? I like pain with my pleasure, both giving and receiving? Sure. Dommes are popular right now in pop culture, and who doesn't like the occasional spank or bite? (Though I like much more than that, but that's for another post.) I believe you can love more than one person at a time? Hey, everyone's seen Big Love!

I want to date a couple?

Girl, that ain't right.

Now, is it the only thing I look for? Hell no. I have a male partner who has several other women partners in his life, and while we're all friends, that's as far as it goes. I have a woman who wants to serve me, but I don't need her to bring a man over as well.

But it is something I heartily enjoy. I'm not looking for a closed triad (oh poly, such wonderful vocabulary that leaves me picturing myself in Little China with an AK47 and plenty of ammo) because I need more relationships than that and my existing relationship is here to stay, but the relationships I've had in the past with couples have been fulfilling in every sense of the word.

I'm fiercely independent, and I'm certainly not monogamous. So a couple-two people who are each others' primaries and fill that role well--has worked for me quite well in the past. Like any poly relationship, it works differently for different people--maybe I'm with them separately sometimes and all of us together at others, or maybe it is always all together--whatever works in that particular dynamic of people. But keep in mind--it does involve dating, not just sex. A Unicorn is not a sex toy to kickstart your flagging marriage. I and my fellow horned beauties want to be in a relationship with the two of you--I can find a threesome on my own (and have!) quite easily. This is different. There are long phone calls or flurries of emails and text messages, little romantic gifts and notes and gestures, just like with any relationship--it just goes in more than two directions. Sometimes you're all curled up on the couch, watching bad movies and eating popcorn. With the last couple I dated, we went out to dinner together quite often, and the nasty side of me loved the confusion on the faces of the waitstaff as we all got casually physically affectionate, but didn't exactly love the judgment that often came with it. I lived in the Deep South then, and that's not a climate conducive to Unicorns.

Are there difficulties aside from "catching" a Unicorn? Of course. There are four relationships here, after all. For those of you not math-oriented, let's call the guy A, the female in the couple B, and the Unicorn C. There is the relationship between A and C, between B and C, between A and B, and between A&B and C. So all of that has to be worked out.

I could go on for a long time on the various intricacies and common difficulties, but let's not. Let's talk about how fucking hot the sex can be between three people who know and care about each other. One of the hottest moments in my early twenties--a time when my sex life could have rivaled Tiger Woods' for volume and technique--was driving my tongue into B's wet pussy and feeling the pulse of A's cock and the contractions of B's muscles as A fucked her ass, and later sliding my own slick pussy down his shaft while her tongue lapped at his cock and my cunt.

There were wonderful moments of watching the two of them. B has a hard time cumming (poor thing) and it was incredible to see the way A knew just how to fuck her right over the edge. Sometimes I'd lie back and watch as he forced her onto her knees, a hand buried in her hair, forcing her head back while he pounded into her. I do love my voyeurism.

I also loved watching his eyes (or hers) go dark and their breath go shallow, watching me arch and scream and cum all over his tongue, or hers, or his cock, or her fingers. I do love my exhibitionism.

And afterward we snuggled and watched The Sopranos.

I'm not dating a couple right now, though as I mentioned above, there is a Possibility. We'll just have to wait and see.

What are you searching for?


Playfully Yours said...

I have not heard that phrase before as well. However that would be a great description of myself. I love both worlds. I would highly consider dating a couple.
A few years ago I had a 6 month on-going sexual thing with a couple. Boy do I miss it.

Hubman said...

Nope, you're not the last one. Veronica and I have been seeing a single woman for several months now. By no means are we a closed triad- she has others that she plays with, as do we. The funny thing is, we didn't have to catch her, she approached us through a swingers website!

Nice to meet your Shadowclit!

TheBlackSwan said...

Wow, what a great post! I always love hearing from the perspective of a Unicorn, as well as how other couples make it work. Thanks so much for sharing, and I look forward to reading more!
--Let's call me The "B"... :-)

Black Pearl said...

Welcum to the Blogger Party Unicorn!!

ErikaStarr said...

Welcome to the family Shadowclit! While I'm familiar with the term, I appreciate the breakdown. My partner and I are looking for a unicorn...will let KC and the readers know how that works out.

Naughty Nikki said...

Hmmm ... Didn't know it, but, upon hearing your definition, I guess, in some instances, I'm a unicorn, too!


MzTrySexual said...

Welcome babe! Great post! I meant to comment earlier(ive read it like 3 times) but was never in the best surroundings. I've never heard the term either but it was so perfectly described. You make me wanna go screw on my horn. Your A,B,C's were on fire. Can't wait to hear more from you!

Anonymous said...

Interesting post.

I think "unicorn chasers" have such a bad name that the unicorns themselves aren't really thought about much. "So rare as to be mythical, right?"

But that's similar to arguments used to try to make bisexuality invisible in the first place: "everyone's really bi, right, so what's the big deal in claiming that identification?"

I like your other post too, a *lot*. Looking forward to more.