What the Fuckety Fuck?

Okay, so apparently, Mellow is the jumpoff of the season right now, as all of my most recent posts seem to be co-starring him. (mental note: acquire new dick) Anywho, he and I have talked about my desire to venture deeper into the bisexual realm by participating in a 2-girl threesome..which he was all too happy to help me out with. I'd done the 2-guy thing (ended up being a WACK ass situation, will tell in future blog) and I was feeling like I needed to have my cherry popped on the other front. I had kinda messed around with another girl before, but I still had never tasted any pussy other than the juices of my own. Not sure I was dying to do it, but I was game to try some new shit.

So I met this FreakHoe on line, she replied to a personal ad I placed for a couple looking for a 3rd...She sent a picture, she was cute enough. the picture wasn't the best quality, but she has locs, too, big tits and an okay smile. Her eyebrows were kinda bushy, though, but I could work around that. She said she was into everything except "fisting and animals" which left a helluva lot to be explored. After a few get-to-kinda-know-you phone calls between she and I, another weekend visit from Mellow was coming up and I invited her to join us. She was down. Then on Friday afternoon, she cancelled. Mother nature called and she was out of commission and wanted to rest that night. We told her it was fine, and also let her know that she was welcome to just come and watch if she wanted to. Let her get to know us before we got to know her. She said she would come over the following night. Mellow fucked the shit out of me as usual that night, sans the third set of eyes.

Saturday night, Mellow came over and we had dinner and got ready for our company. I had a little bit of assistance to loosen me up, though Mellow was high on the just idea of what was to come. I texted her directions and she called when she was at the gate. I went outside to guide er from the parking lot. And then that's when shit got interesting...

What the fuckety fuck?!?

I looked down into the car to tell her where to park and the first thing I thought was that I was feeling like Smokey in Friday,"She said she looked like Janet Jackson, bitch got out the car looking more like Freddie Jackson!" DAAAYUUMMM!

Okay, she wasn't that bad, but she definitely sent us an old ass picture that was at least 5 years and 20 lbs ago. As I half smiled and pointed to guest parking, I quickly texted Mellow, "Hmmmm???!!" Hoping he would get the heads up. He didn't. I walked into the door, grateful for the mood lighting and introduced FreakHoe to Mellow. He was polite, didn't miss a beat, he poured me the drink he knew I needed and offered her one. She didn't drink, she said. We all went and sat on the couch. I looked at Mellow. We communicated with our eyes that since she was there, we may as well carry on and further more, she was unable to join in past a certain level, so neither of us had to go...there.

I focused on my drink and "Super High Me" which just so happened to be on the channel we randomly selected. Mellow asked her what type of shit she was into.. blah blah blah. Somewhere in between him asking her if she liked anal sex and me putting down my drink, I turned to Mellow and pulled his dick out. I wasn't big into talking when fucking is the plan, and truthfully, if I didn't start sucking dick soon, I was going to start being rude to this not-so-cute chick because I was still annoyed at the false advertisement online. Unlike a man, it is hard for me to ignore the face for the sake of the ass. If the face looks like ass, I can't fuck with ya...but I digress.

So, I'm sucking Mellow's dick and he tells the FreakHoe to come sit on the other side of him so he could see better. He tells her how much he enjoys my skill and tells her to watch how I take it deep and choke on it...he loves those spit bubbles. So I work him over, and then he pushes me back and gets on his knees in front of me. I pull my dress over my head and open my legs while he settles in. He holds my pussy open and tongue fucks me, using a finger on my clit until FreakHoe helps him out. She flicks my clit while he sucks on my pussy and they do so until I've had multiple orgasms. After about the 5th orally induced nut, he excuses himself to go upstairs and get my collar. He has me kneel on the sofa, then he hands her the collar and tells her to put it on me. She fastens it around my neck and hands him the leash. he pulls me up where my butt is on my heels and kisses me, then pushes my face back into the sofa and slaps my ass before he pushes up in me. Hes banging the shit out of me and she's watching at first, then she reaches over and plays with my clit while he hits it. he hands her the leash and tells her to spank me with it while he fucks me. She does. Lightly at first, then harder as he speeds up his pace. As long as I don't think about her non-cuteness, the sensation of all those hands on my ass and him banging the shit out of me brought me to several more eye-rolling orgasms. Whew. And this was only the beginning. He pulled out and told me to lay on my back. I did, and with my eyes closed, I was readjusting, waiting for Mellow to mount me when I heard him tell her to "go on". I opened one eye and saw her look up at me from between my legs...What the fuckety WHOA fuck?!?

I reached over and re-lit my blunt, laid back and inhaled as this chick sucked the fuckety fuck out of my pussy. WOW. Now I know why Mellow went first, this broad was a Beast! He would not have been able to follow this shit. Did I mention, WOW?! Okay, so what she lacked in looks, she definitely made up in FreakHoe-ness. WOW. Anyway. She tore my pussy up. I had to put the ganja out for fear I may black the fuck out and set the couch on fire. I looked over at Mellow, who was sitting back and stroking his dick. He winked at me and I just closed my eyes again and let her munch. After about 20 or so very skilled minutes, she stopped and I leaned into Mellow's lap again. He told her to come over and suck it for a while. I handed it to her and she went at it like she was Superhead or something. I mean moving her hands around like she was making pottery and shit, looking all focused...Shit, I just knew she had put me to shame. Then he said, "Mmm.. now make it wet and take it deep like Pink did." She spit on it, but then went back to sucking feverishly and twisting her hand on it. I could tell he wasn't feeling it and he told her to come up to him and let him suck her tits. He guided my head back down to is dick as he put one of her breasts in his mouth. She sat back and I looked up as she popped one huge tit out and as he started to suck she said, "Oh yeah, I got milk. See." She leaned back out of his mouth and squeezed her nipple, squirting breastmilk all over his chest...What the fuckety fuck??!

Did this chick just squirt titty milk all over my Mellow? Um, Ewww. He looked taken aback and was like.. "Oh, wow" I put his dick back in my mouth to keep from saying "gross..." Really, that shit can't be sanitary. Anywho. by now, there's a porn playing on the big screen and I'm sucking Mellow while he's playing with her tits. After a while, he suggests we go upstairs. He leads the way and hands her my leash. She walks behind me and as he makes his way into bed, she stops me at the top of the stairs and motions for me to sit on them. I sit on the stairs and she puts her face in my puss and starts to suck. She works her tongue in and out and as I let out a moan, Mellow comes out of the bedroom to see what happened to us. He looks down at me with my back on the ground, ass hanging over the top of the stairs and my legs up against either side of the door frame and smiled and grabbed my ankles to help keep me in position. She tongue fucks me deeper then moves her work down to my asshole. FreakHoe is working it and is alternating between sucking and spitting on my pussy and licking my asshole. I'm cumming back to back to back and at some point, Mellow let one of my legs go and started stroking his dick again. I so happy to be able to look up and see him doing that, rather than look down and possibly catch sight of her in the moonlight, that would kill it. Really, ya'll, she wasn't that cute.

So after another loong ass time, my back was numb, my legs were shaking and I was sure there a huge wet spot beneath my ass. We moved the party into the bedroom. We got into the bed and I got on top of him backwards and started to ride him. He pulled my leash towards him, bringing my back to his chest. I was grinding my pussy on him as she came around in front of us and started to lick us both. She planted her lips around my clit and skillfully sucked and kept her mouth on it as I moved on him. Then she would alternate and lick and suck his balls and ass. Completely unapologetic freak, she was. I got off of him and bent over and he got behind me. He pushed into my pussy and guided her fingers to play with my ass. I backed up into him ad he fucked me harder, she followed suit, moving her fingers in and out of my ass. He pulled my hair and started to hump harder, I knew he would cum soon. He pulled out and sprayed my ass and the back of my thighs then stepped back...the FreakHoe cleaned up every drop. What the fuckety fuck?

This was one hell of a night! Definitely not what I expected, but thankfully, not a disappointment. FreakHoe is not the type of chick you take out in public, more like the kind of chick you keep locked in a cage in the basement with a ballgag in her mouth...LOL. If you ever have friends in town who need a good licking...she's your gal!

Ever had to squint your eyes really, really hard in order to get down with a not-so-cute freak?

"The first rule of Fight Club is...you don't talk about fight club."

Now writing about it, on the other hand...well, that's different.

A friend of mine asked me to house-sit for her on the weekends for the next month or so. Of course, I jumped at the chance, considering the unfortunate circumstance of still having my ex as a roommate. When I agreed, she threw in the kicker, "By the way, you should invite Mr. Mellow over... I'm sure you're dying to get your freak on!" Um, hell-to-the-yeah! She didn't have to say more! LOL, I was wondering if her ass had rigged up some cameras or some shit to record what she knew was going to be a smackdown of epic proportions!

"The second rule of Fight Club is -- you DO NOT talk about Fight Club"

Mellow and I had been speaking on the phone about kicking my submission to him up a notch, as well as pushing the rough play a little further. The last time we had been together, I told him to slap my face when we were getting down and he cautiously tapped my cheek. I teased him, letting him know that if I could take him choking me with his dick and hazing my ass with paddles and whatnot, he could hit me harder than that. Yeah..I talk to damn much.

He was more than happy to keep me company at my friend's empty townhouse and had arranged to fly in late Friday evening, giving me enough time to finish up at work and get it all primped and pretty by 10 p.m. to pick him up. Before he left home to go to the airport, he called me and said, "You ready, baby?" I told him I couldn't wait. I was on my way home, after getting my nails and toes done and filling my kinky shopping list. Time to shower, and get ready to make a run to the airport...I still ended up late. He called me just as I was taking one last look in the mirror and asked, "Where you at, girl?" I told him I was sorry I was running late. I was leaving the house now. He hung up. Ohhh, he was a bit pissed. LOL. So I took one last puff of my kush, checked my ta-tas in the mirror and rode out.

I picked him up. The original plan was for him to drive so I could give him head while we were on the way. He was a bit miffed that I was late, so he threw his shit into the backseat and got in the passenger side. I tried to make small talk, but he wasn't having it. He was upset, and told me that I would "pay for that bullshit". So here's where I talk too much again, "Ooh, what, you gonna beat it up now? That's what you said last time, and you barely tapped me." I was so full of shit, cuz I knew he had some tricks up his sleeve, I must be a masochist for real. He mumbled, kinda under his breath, "Yeah...talk that shit now."

At the house, we barely got in the door before he pushed me to my knees and around my neck, he placed the black leather collar and leash (strategically placed just inside the front door). If he hadn't pulled his dick out, it would have bust his zipper open. I think the sight of me on my knees in front of him with my dress falling open and in straight-up slave mode got him more than ready. I could barely get my gag reflex in check before he was mercilessly fucking my throat.

Just as I thought I would choke to death, he pulled out of my mouth and lead me to the bedroom. Bending me in front of the bed, I was instructed to grab my ankles as I was spanked with the other end of the leash. More like lashings, he alternated between the leash and his hand, at some point, he pushed me over onto the bed. Roughly, he flipped me onto my back and wrapped the leash around his fist as he pushed into me and pulled me up into his chest. He commenced to fuck the shit out of me, while lamenting about how I was late picking him up, and how I had talked all that shit. He said, "Yeah, I could smack the shit out of you right now." I said, "Smack the shit out of me then." He said, "What the fuck did you say? Did I ask you to say something to me?" He pushed up in me hard and deep and just as I almost let an "Ahh" slip out...WHAP! He slapped the living shit out of me!

So there I was, laying there and silently moving my tongue around in my mouth, making sure all my teeth were still in tact, when WHAP! Another slap. Ok, see... now this was NOT what I was expecting! I was trying to decide if I should tell him that shit really hurt, or just concentrate on the fucking I was getting. Pain. Dick. Pain. Dick. WHAP! Before I could come to a conclusion, this muhfugga slapped me a 3rd time. I had to tap out, I was scared I may have to make an emergency trip to the dentist in the morning. Surely, my jaw was dislocated...Surely.


"The third rule fo Fight Club -- someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over."

I put my hand up to my face to block any further abuse and told him he had to stop. "Don't stop fucking me," I said. "Just please don't slap me again!" He smirked and said, I told you not to talk shit. He pulled out and flipped me over and pulled me up onto my knees, letting go of the leash, he grabbed a handful of my locs and banged me crazy. I was clenching my jaw, feeling like I had been in a bar brawl. I needed to take a break. I started to work my muscles around his dick, trying to milk out the ending of this thrashing. I bucked back onto him and he pushed in deep and grabbed my ass with both hands as he let go.

Afterward, we lay there, sweaty, dry-mouthed and spent. (Me, with an ice pack pressed against my jaw...) I had no idea what just happened. My jaw was hurting, I have bruises all over my ass and back. What the fuck just happened?

He looked at me, and with his eyes, he said, "I Am Jack's Smirking Revenge."

To Be Continued...

Have you ever had knock-down, drag-out sex?