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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Have I lost my mind!?!?

Happy New Year!

One of my resolutions is to be more communicative on this blog. I'd like to learn more about our readers and reconnect with my fellow bloggers. It is with this spirit that I share my dilemma and ask for your advice.

I think I have lost my f'ing mind. My relationship with one of my coworkers, has truly crossed the line. We are sharing inappropriate text messages and images. We are even planning an "outing" to two local swingers clubs so we can "observe" and laugh at other people.

My recent nickname for this coworker is Teddy because I imagine his body, especially his developed muscles, wrapped tightly around me.

Thus far, Teddy and I have been platonic, though his live-in girlfriend has vehemently expressed discomfort with our closeness. Funny enough, Teddy and I only hang out at work (though sometimes for hours after our official days have ended), talk on the phone and text each other. We haven't kissed or caressed or done anything physical. Well nothing short of me coping a feel by poking or shoving him.

Truth be told, what I really want to do is hug my "Teddy" bear tight, kiss his neck, lick his ear, slide my hand up his back to behind his ear and then push/pull his head closer to mine for a kiss and much more. I'm at a dangerous stage of desiring to spend a long night or better yet, a weekend with him.

Whereas in the past, I just wanted him to eat my pussy. I didn't wanna fuck. Wasn't interested in any other foreplay - no nipple pinching, no kissing, fuck caressing. Nothing, nada but straight pussy feasting. I used to get moist just thinking about his hands brushing against my hips as he stripped me of my panties. All I wanted was for his face to be buried deep in between my legs - slurping, sucking, tugging, licking my walls CLEAN. Leaving no trace of my sweet nectar. When I was done and had nothing more to give vaginally, I wanted him to plant a loud kiss signaling the end of his vaginal meal, followed by him orally engraving his name on my thighs using sweet kisses and nibbles. Though very appealing, these sexual thoughts are bound to get me in trouble!

The problem is that I have a husband and Teddy has a girlfriend. Though my partner and I are open, I don't want to bring this to him....just yet. As open as we are, I can't imagine hubby approving the outings to two swinger clubs that Teddy and I have planned. So instead we both plan to hide this from our partners. I feel (know??) that I am kidding myself - "everyone knows" how this story is likely to end but MAYBE Teddy and I will be able to just "observe" and talk shit all night.

Ever been on a slippery slope that you know will most likely only lead to trouble?? Did you manage to get off? What should I do??


Suzanne said...

You mention that hubby is pretty "open." Would he be "open" enough to tag along with you and Teddy to the swing club? You mention you don't want to bring this to him "just yet." Truthfully, if you really plan on going to the swing club with Teddy, this may be the most opportune time. Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Slippery Slope ??? Ever see that show on TV ...WIPEOUT!!!! You know it can only end one way ... but it is fun and so you try. As long as you can get up before time runs out. Hope you win ...

ErikaStarr said...

@Suzanne - nice profile pic! Thanks for your thoughts. Hubby is open but I'm concerned he may think I've been cheating all along. He might be open to the swing club but of course then I'd have to give him free reign to do the same. Unfair, perhaps even hypocritical, I know. You're making me think thou - this would be a good time to come out with it and make it a group activity.

@Anonymous - thanks for your comment. I haven't seen the show but I fully understand the concept. *SMH*

Anonymous said...

I'm usually the hung-ho type. But I'll say this.
One of the most beautiful things about life is the ability to project. Put yourself in the future. See the chaos. And then see how you wish you could rewind time to the moment when you could just...walk away.
Choice, as always, is yours.
- Anon Dude

Playfully Yours said...

That slippery slope is one I tend to just slide down! I tend to live on the edge of the slope.

What I wonder is since your relationship is open then why would there be a problem with going out with Teddy???


ErikaStarr said...

@Anon Dude - good points. Thx.
@Playfully Yours - LOL. Sounds exciting. I don't think I'm ready for hubby to reciprocate.