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Monday, January 18, 2010

An Open Letter To Ms. Anti-Relationship

She said, “You're beautiful,” I replied thank you. She said, “I can really see a future for us,” I replied me too. She said, “ I enjoy spending time with you and I never want it to end,” I replied I feel the same way. I asked, “You wanna be my girlfriend?” She says, “ hold up boo let’s dial it back. I’m not ready for a relationship.”

My reaction; WTF! This is an all too often the scenario played out in bedrooms, over dinner tables and in the back seats of cars. Speaking from my lesbian perspective, friends with benefits and non-titled commitment phobic unions seem to be the acceptable standard. I’m over it. Why is it that every woman I encounter "Isn't ready for a relationship" but your more than ready to make me holla or be your baby momma?

I consider myself a prize. I’m attractive, educated, focused on the bigger picture of family and success. I have all the qualities you say you want in a life partner, yet you don’t want to commit. You say, “I feel trapped and I still want to explore my options.” Well wtf you looking for so I can direct you away from me. My pussy is sweet enough to taste but not good enough to marry or at the very least commit to! And how much longer do you think you can play this game; we knocking at 30’s door and times a tickin’.

What boggles my mind even more is the implied suggestion that I must now wait for you AND be committed to you. Its exceptionally brazen of you to not want a relationship BUT you want to kick it, sleep together, go through my text messages, ask me where I'm at, who I'm with, why I'm there; bitch please. Please don’t take my kindness for weakness. I’m woman enough to like you but momma didn’t raise no fool; I also have options.

Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I need to reevaluate me and what I require and expect. But I will no longer be giving you the best, sweetest, wettest parts of me. I’m locking down the kitty kat and we will see how much longer this ambiguous love affair lasts. Maybe I'm trippin’? I just don't want to be that old ass bitch in the club 45 years old single and hitting on all the young girls.

Do we as "progressive" pulled together women put too much emphasis on labels and exclusivity?


Black Pearl said...

Your rant and question posed applies across sexes. It can be defeating to constantly put yourself out there to someone, expose your heart and soul (and often times bed), only to be told that they're not ready for anything serious. I've written poems about this shit! Just know that you are beautiful queens who deserve love and commitment...and all the benefits along with it.
Try not to be too discouraged!

DeidraK said...

I have a few theories on why women you get involved do this but I don't think the box is big enough lol. Plus you didn't give enough background so that I could narrow it down.

Pink Vixxxen said...

Ah, just like many of the so-called non-relationships I've encountered, it seems like your girl wants to literally have her cake and eat it too :-)

I don't think women should relegate themselves to a status that they don't want to be in, just for the sake of being in something...but I also don't appreciate when my partner is ambiguous about how he feels about me but clear about the fact that I shouldn't be feeling someone else. Selfish sommamabitches...

Choc'laDee said...

Miss Bliss--I've all too often been the one running from the girl-girl relationships. I'm sure there are few letters of this nature floating around with me in mind. My advice would be to send those chicks to the left---cause it's no different for girls. All the ambiguity means she's just not that into you. So you're better off without!