I didn’t have sex again for almost 2 years after that! Talk about uninterested! I just didn’t get it! I mean what the hell was the point. I would get all hot and bothered and tingly; I’d be loaded, cocked and ready to go and then it was like ‘oh… is that it’! I decided I’d rather not be bothered. Even after I resumed my sexual voyage years later I found myself unable to capture those lusty moments that I saw in the movies or on TV, or even that my friends would speak of. I started thinking that it was something wrong with me. Why don’t I tremble and scream out in ecstasy or buck like a horse when I have an orgasm….. And there it was! Like a hard slap on cold skin. Because I never had… climaxed that is. Duh! I mean sure I had gotten aroused and even had what I assume were like little climaxes, but I had never had an orgasm!!!! Well, that would just not do! This would have to be rectified! You know you always just assume that you have sex you’ll have an orgasm, like the two go hand in hand! Alas, that is not the case, but I was not going to lie (no pun intended) down without a fight, I would not go quietly into the night! I was a woman with a charge!
So now I had a new mission: Mission: Orgasm. My mission (and I chose to accept it) was to explore myself and sexuality and bring myself to this illusive orgasm by any means necessary. Every sexual encounter was like hunting some rare species of crocodile in the rolling Australian Outback. It was treacherous and fun but ever so disappointing when my hunt would come to an end and alas “Crikey! No croc!” After a few months of this my endurance started to wane. It was sucking what little fun I had come to enjoy from sex right out of it. Until one night while I was sitting and having a conversation with a girlfriend, Izzy. Actually she was my girlfriend Nessa’s girlfriend, and not at all timid about sharing her opinions. She was slightly older, very open and overtly sexual, oh … and Italian. As we talked somehow I ended up opening up about my hunt for my big O.
“Well what do you like” she asked it like it should have ended with …”on your pizza”! I didn’t understand the question.
“What makes you hot, what turns you on?” I was still a little lost, and considering she was a stranger, a tad bit uncomfortable.
She pulled herself closer, with a cigarette pulling from her lips and a glass of wine being caressed between her palms. She put down the glass and gestured for my hand. I slid forward and extended my hand. She ran the tips of her fingers around the palm of my hand, trailing them slowly up my arm.
“What do you think about when your legs are wrapped around a man’s shoulders and neck and your clit is between his teeth being stroked with his tongue?” She pulled my wrist to her lips, kissing it and, letting the tip of her tongue caress my pulse points ever so slightly. I was blushing… everywhere.
“Do you think about each flick of his tongue, do you ride the waves of each pulse? Do you listen to the sound of his fluids and yours mingling and heating up between your thighs and draining down your pussy lips, towards the crack of your ass?” I was flushed, I was speechless, and even more relevant I was turned on. Her right hand was moving up my arm, slowly sliding inwards toward my cleavage, while her left hand was playing heat seeking missile, sliding its way up my inner thigh. I was frozen, and melting all at the same time. I was almost hypnotized, watching her with baited breath.
“Careful, Lexi*… how do you think she got me?” Nessa said laughingly. I could see my girlfriend (her girlfriend) curled up in her lounge chair watching us, smiling deviously.
I chuckled knowingly, “I bet!” I broke the connection and slowly and somewhat unwillingly slid back (literally) in my seat.
But she had posed some interesting questions. I had been waiting for this orgasm to happen, but I had not been living in and feeling each moment, each sensation. I hadn’t been connecting my mind with my body! Could it be that I was looking all over for the big “O” and the key to its very existence was in me all along? Was it possibly like the scene at the end of Austin Powers where he’s looking for his MOJO and realizes no one could have stolen it, because it was a part of him?
Later that night when we retired, I could hear them giggling and kissing each other through the bedroom wall. I listened as they cooed over each other. I felt almost intrusive, but I couldn’t help it. I touched myself to the sounds of them making love through the wall. I fantasized about what she had said out on the patio. I touched myself and could still feel her touch lingering on my skin. I could hear them moaning in tandem, like a chorus of lust, building and mounting. I could hear their passionate whispers; I touched myself and closed my eyes and took in every sensation. I imagined her tongue, passionately taking me in. I stroked myself gently and with intense purpose. I focused in on the changes in my bodily sensations and followed my bodies lead. I felt my nipples harden and let my fingers caress them and tease them pulling myself closer to the rhythmic pants that were coming louder now through the bedroom wall. I let my fingers wander, through the familiar yet strangely new terrain that lay between my thighs. I felt every breath cutting in my chest, each exhale rocking me closer to the precipice of my final destination. I felt my fingers beginning to work faster and more tenaciously. I felt the heat between my fingers and my lips intensifying. My mouth started to dry out, and I could barely control my breaths. When everything in my body tingled, when everything started to convulse, when my own hands could no longer keep up with my bodies rhythm I exhaled dug deep and I let myself go! I felt a sensation burst out of me that must have been a cross between a moan and a scream but as I held onto a fistful of sheets at my side, to try and anchor myself to the bed, it was hard to tell. I literally saw stars- there was only white noise! The pulses came fast and hard, like years of bottled up sexual frustration had been shaken and uncorked, unleashed wildly like a bucking Bronco. I finally could hear myself screaming, and it took me a little by surprise. I covered my mouth with one hand and continued to pant as my other hand tried to tame the beast that was slowly calming beneath the sheets. As I came back down from cloud nine, I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh my… Holy Shit!” I laughed to myself. As my laughter faded I heard my friends through the wall again, they were laughing too.
“Goodnight, Lexi*!” Nessa taunted.
“And congratulations, no”? Izzy asked rhetorically. They continued chuckling through the wall.
I bit my lip and covered my face with the pillow, semi-mortified, “Goodnight!” I yelped back.
I rolled over onto my side, settled in and continued to smile as I thought, ‘Mission: Accomplished’.
*= name changed
Thanks to Kimberly for organizing these group posts every month!
Check out the others' "The Day" with Kimberly of The Errant Wife and see who else is taking part in this month's group post: Petal, Ronjazz, Autumn, Gray, Aurore, Barefoot Dreamer, fgsakes, Topaz, Hubman, Ms. Scarlett , Mykeyman, Advizor, Duchess, They belong to us and Veronica.