Crossing Borders

As the Johnny Walker Black on the rocks swished around in my mouth before slipping down my throat, I wondered what she tasted like. As some of the drink spilled down my chin I imagined it being her juices. I imagined her thighs wrapped around my face, her pussy pulsating between my lips under the coaxing of my tongue. I could smell her across the room; she smelt like Vanilla and Lust. I tried to keep it together, to keep her from noticing me trying to stop looking at the rise of her breasts; the smoothness of the skin where her cheek meets her neck meets her shoulders. I bit my lips as I watched through hazy rose colored glasses as a smile spread across her face. I’m jolted by the sound of her laughter, wishing it was me making her scream out in ecstasy. 

I don’t know how the fuck this happened-- Or when I started craving her presence, her attention, her company. One minute we were strangers, then acquaintances, now secret lovers. It only took one night of liquid truth, one night of reckless abandon, and one night of seeing where the moment takes us. It happened so suddenly, so innocently. 

She told me I had nice lips. I blushed graciously. She said she bet they were soft and sweet. I licked them inadvertently. She told me I was being a tease. I smiled apologetically. She said she really wanted to kiss me. I paused. 

And before I knew it, her lips were on mine. Her kiss was earnest yet soft, inviting yet commanding. I was pulling her body towards me and slowly delving deeper into her mouth, her tongue caressing mine like a forgotten lover. And while I may have been startled, I was all in. The blood rushed to my head like a kiss from an old flame, but it was brand new. Half way through I had this moment of clarity, this moment of we shouldn’t be doing this… but as quickly as it came it was gone. I surrendered to the kiss reveling in the perfect passion that was this unforeseen moment. I acted with total disregard of consequence. Like a naïve teenager on prom night wondering nine months later how did I get here? That’s the thing about crossing lines, they’re like foreign borders, and the rules are always different on the other side. 

And now I find myself craving her, like a drug. Like an addict in recovery, I crave her and simultaneously tell myself-- NO MORE!! I have to stop THIS. THIS can’t end well, THIS can’t go anywhere, THIS can’t-- this CAN’T—THIS CAN’T--! 

But the truth is I can’t! 

I can’t stop wanting her. I can’t stop craving her. I can’t stop smelling her even when she’s not near me. I can’t stop fantasizing about our kisses, our soft touches. I can’t stop wondering what her inner soft sweetness tastes like or what she would sound like moaning my name, begging me to stop, or better, to keep going. 

Honestly, I CAN’T!

And I want to stop trying. To stop fighting whatever it is between us that keeps pulling us together; that keeps her blushing like a school girl in my presence. That keeps us doing this dance despite all of the risk, despite all of the potential consequence. 

I feel like saying fuck it We're grown! What's to stop us... Fuck the consequence of others, and their feeligs and their LOVE? Just embrace it all; to float through this Wonderland with the same reckless abandon that got me here and hope that nine months from now I know just how I got there.

Wherever that is…

But I CAN'T...


Because we are grown, and there will surely be consequence of this LOVE. Consequence larger than us... And so as I toss and turn these hot summer nights, hands tucked between hot moist thighs these next few days, weeks, months-- writhing in the reality of my withdrawals-- I'll have only the memory of what was and the reality of what should be. And as order is restored our passion that we shared will be but a vague memory; a glance across a room, a bitten lip and smile. Merely traces of what almost was... Consequence.

HNT: I am Thankful for...

So, today as I'm sure many people did, my partner and I were discussing the things that we were thankful for. While my list scripted of the typical family, friends love and health, my partner's list was a little more along the lines of your ass, your breasts, your mouth, your pussy!

"C'mon, I'm serious. Be serious!"

"I am serious! I am thankful for you babe, and thus everything about you that makes me crazy! From your sense of humor … to your nipples! Ooooh...baby you know I fucking love your nipples! I love sucking your nipples, just pulling them and flicking them and watching you squirm. You know you love when I suck your nipples. Aren't you thankful that we both love your nipples?"

"Yeah. I think it's pretty safe to say I'm DAMN thankful for that babe." (I have to admit, I'm a bit of a nipple whore; any nipple play is likely to have me confessing my deepest, darkest secrets.)

"See! It's great to be thankful for the big things, you just should be thankful for the little BIG things too!"

All that nipple talk and the then empty bottle of wine that was being rolled between my thighs, led to the conclusion of a great Thanksgiving Day!

So, during this holiday season, I encourage you to be thankful for the 'little BIG' things!

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy HNT!

What 'little BIG' things are you thankful for?

Visit Osbasso and see who else is playing!

...and all that JAZZ!

It’s hard, living in such a small town, to play the way you want to. Even with an understanding boyfriend, it’s as if I’m stifled by the constraints of my not- so- modern- day society. With the past experiences I‘ve had with females, I’ve always kept them as drive-bys. I’m always very clear that I have a boyfriend and that I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m not bragging by any means but seriously, I seem to have a strange effect on the girls; they tend to want more than I can offer. So since I’ve moved back home I’ve tried to show restraint and avoided them (girls and encounters) all together. But alas old habits die hard.
Completely put out by the usual bar hopping, I reluctantly ventured out with friends a few weeks ago to the local rainbow watering hole. Figuring maybe I’d see something that would tease me or whom I could tease without actually getting myself into trouble I went in not expecting much of anything but a good time with my boys. As usual the music was great and the girls and boys were out to play in all their night marauder regalia. While I found my groove in the corner I started looking around the room taking in my surroundings. All the regulars were here it seemed and so I let loose and slipped into oblivion. I started dancing and losing myself in the music when all of a sudden I felt eyes on me-- hot, hungry eyes. I looked across the bar but saw no one. Paranoia is a bitch! I’m way too antsy…SHOT! Pronto!
I knocked back a shot and had just started dancing with my friend JB when he said to me,

“She is eating you alive, sis!”
“Who?”
“I dunno- new trade! My 1, your 7. Going to investigate.”

I turned trying to subtly glance over my shoulder but I couldn’t see who he could’ve been talking about. All I saw was mostly regulars- two girlz- coupled up and a few boyz. The only one I didn’t know was a caramel skinned boy with a skater boy swagger. He had a lip piercing, full arm sleeves, ear gauges and was definitely not from here. He was pretty as hell! My boyz were gonna have a field day in here with him tonight! I noticed that JB had made his way over to the group and was chatting it up with the pretty boy. TYPICAL! JB smiled at me and then so did Pretty Boy. I smiled back and winked tossing up cheers with my drink before turning back to my boyz and continuing to dance. The sweaty, hot atmosphere was turning me on. My head was starting to swing and I could feel myself getting lost in my surroundings. My shirt was drenched and I was positive you could see my nipple piercings through my shirt, but I didn’t care. I unbuttoned the top button of my top to get some air to the girls and the sweat trickled down into my cleavage. As I reached in to mop it up I looked up and Pretty Boy was watching me across the bar. I bit my lip and threw him a face mimicking how hot it was. He licked his lips slowly and softly, smiled and nodded in agreement. Damn if I ever wanted to be a gay boy it was fucking now!
I was about to order another drink when, the bartender brought one over to me saying, “For you my dear…” and before I could ask from who, he gestured at the crowd “…from an admirer!” My eyes darted through the crowd looking to see a familiar face or at least someone looking to see my reaction—nothing! As I sipped my drink and danced to Ms Minaj’s Your Love, I felt a hand along the lower part of my back, heat against my neck and a low whisper in my ear.

“So, how much of a tease is it that the sexiest chick in here is not only straight, but taken!”

I turned to see what crazy ass friend of mine was fucking with me now and to my surprise it was the Pretty Boy! He had his head at a tilt and was looking down. I started to say Well I don’t see why either of those things would bother you when he licked his lips and smiled. Wait a minute- am I seeing right! I dabbed the sweat from around my eyes and licked my lips back. I was tipsy as hell and homie was looking better than a cold drink on a hot summer day! I replied,

“That is so fucked up! Where is that bitch, I need to have a word with her!”
He laughed, “Haha, Yeah you know I mean you!”
I giggled, “And just who may I ask am I teasing exactly?”
He raised his hand in the air claiming responsibility and a smooth raspy voice with a West Coast tinged accent rolled out.
“That’d have to be me, ‘cause I don’t think that anyone in here has been as busy watching you all night as I have. You from here?”

If he licked those lips one more time I might forget that my man was only a phone call away, embarrass myself and jump this gay boy! What was this anyway, what was his thing? Wait! Was he Bi, because fuck that shit, I don’t play that way! Just as I was about to get pissed off JB popped up behind him and started pointing at him while mouthing something--- something that looked a lot like That’s her!! I choked a little on my drink and pulled my attention back.

“Huh, yeah, I’m from here. You’re CLEARLY NOT!” I probed, “I’m Lexi by the way!”
“Jazz. Nice to meet you Lexi. I’ve been figuring out how to approach you without you being scared off all night. I know you don’t like girls but I had to tell you that I’ve been watching you all night and I think you are sexy as hell; your energy, your whole style—is just crazy! I just couldn’t leave here without telling you how jealous I am of your man, I’m not gonna crowd you but I really wanted to see you close up—ya know…” and she leaned in closer to my ear “see if you smell as good as you look!”

She licked her lips and then giggled- a bashful charming smile left on her face. Damn, damn, damn! Why is this bitch here trying me? I’m not usually even attracted to butch girls but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to know more, to hear more, and to taste those lips.

“Ay, so I know you not flying my way but we could be friends though?!”
I gave her a mean side-eye. She laughed.
“What? I have straight female friends—besides I can dream right?”

I bit my lip ordered two shots and two drinks—we downed the shots I grabbed the drinks handed her one and gestured for her to follow me outside onto the balcony. I didn’t know what way this was gonna go but I certainly didn’t need these bitches in here bearing witness.
We stood out there drinking and talking, smiling and flirting. I couldn’t even pretend that I wasn’t completely turned on and intrigued by this girl. She was unlike any girl I had ever been attracted to and I couldn’t explain my infatuation. The way she spoke, the way she stared in my eyes when she asked me questions, the way she kept finding excuses to get close to me. Her tattoos were just icing on the cake! Not butterflies or fairies, but instead flames, dragons and evil clowns lured me to touching her. Tracing them with my fingers, she trembled as my hands touched the tattoos on her neck. She turned to face me grabbing my hands, her lips just inches away from mine. Then she slid her hand up around the back of my neck and pulled me close to inspect the tattoo behind my ear she brushed her lips across it gently and a gasp escaped my lips. She pulled my face towards her and kissed my lips softly at first, almost hesitant. My head spun—her hands wrapped around me and pulled me closer to her kissing me harder. Stroking my neck and grabbing my hair firmly, she pulled back my head and lightly licked and nibbled my ear, my jaw, my neck, my chest. As her tongue plunged into my cleavage I swear I could hear a sizzle as the wetness from her tongue cooled the heat from my body. She had me pressed against the wall kissing me and rubbing me all over. Her hands slid down to my hips, under the curve of my ass, between my thighs slowly but surely stroking me, rubbing me, drawing the moistness through my black spandex. She grabbed my breasts in firm, gentle handfuls biting my nipples through my shirt and sliding down until her face was buried in my pussy. I was trembling under her touch, I wanted to rip my pants off and straddle her beautiful face riding it until I came all over it. She stood up again kissing me and pushing her tongue into my mouth.
I wanted her to taste me; I felt like I needed her to! I wanted her to slip her tongue deep into the wet pulsing crevices between my thighs and taste what she had done to me. As she slid her hands down my pants roaming towards the heat radiating from my pussy I held my breath, and as her fingers found my wetness slippery and tantalizing we both moaned- me in pleasure and her in lust!

“I wanna taste you so fucking bad! I have to taste you!” she gasped.

Just as I was about to tell her that I was ready right there and then, we were interrupted. JB cleared his throat. We both jolted to pull ourselves together, both still panting, hearts racing, clits pounding.

“Uh, sorry to break up the party but Jazz your friends are ready and were about to send out a search party…”
“Okay, thanx man! Tell them to gimme like five minutes?! Hey can you do me a huge favor, can you grab me a pen?”
“Will do!”

JB smirked at me gave me the Dr. Evil finger and disappeared back into the club. We both stared at each other longingly. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. There was no way we could leave together. It was bad enough that JB had witnessed this tryst. She held my hands tightly, and kissed my forehead, and then my lips. She put her forehead on mine, still stroking my breast.

“This is some bullshit! I have to see you again. I’m leaving tomorrow night but I’m staying at the Hotel by the Casino. I’m gonna give you my room number, if you can come by later or tomorrow, just call me. Please just try. Please, please try!”
“I will—I’ll try!”
She kissed my hands, my neck, my face. JB came back with a pen and paper and disappeared. Jazz’s entourage was downstairs and growing impatient.
“Come on Jazz, man! Ms. Thang ain’t playing your game no way!”
We laughed.
“I’m coming!!!” she called out.
She scribbled her hotel room number and her cell number in Cali.
“In case you can’t ya know, If I don’t … if you’re ever on my coast—EVER, you call me!?!”
I bit my lip and nodded. She kissed me hard one last time.
“Call me sometime?”
I nodded. As she got to the door she turned one last time, she put her fingers under her nose, and then slid her fingertips into her mouth. She closed her eyes and licked her lips.
“Damn—!”, she whispered.

I blushed, she smiled and like that she was gone. I watched her walk away from the balcony, my body still pulsing, my heart thumping. What the fuck was that? I slid down the wall, my head in my hands. What the FUCK was THAT? I opened my eyes at JB’s foot tapping next to me.
“Come on sister! Let’s get you a shot and let’s dish, ‘because you look like he just left with something of yours.”
“Yeah… but I’m not sure what it was!”

Has the unexpected ever left you feeling jolted to your core?

MzTrySexual: Why I KINK!!!

"I'm a tri-sexual. I'll try anything once."

Samantha Jones, Sex and the City

“I’m a try-sexual. I’ll try anything sexual!”

MzTrySexual, The Kink Chronicles

I have always been a very sexually liberated person, not deviant just liberated!! Being from the Caribbean I can tell you we are NOT taught to express ourselves sexually. We are a largely Christian nation that lives eats and breathes family, church and culture. That is all! I grew up in the church, complete with Kool-aid and tea sandwiches after services, choir practices and Sunday school. Fortunately, I was given the opportunity to go off to school and get some exposure that allowed me to be more liberal with my thinking and experiences. I have always been an open person. I know what I like and what I don’t like and I’m more than willing to tell who ever will listen. Unfortunately, I’m a bit of an anomaly in my oh-so-normal surroundings. Not many are willing to talk as openly about the things that I do, the way that I do. So when Sheba hit me up asking if I was indeed the naughty kink-tress that she recalled from high school, I giddily conceded and gracefully accepted the invitation.

I Kink because I am! Yeah, I’m a freak, and WHAT? I’m sexy, fierce, flirty, demanding, submissive and downright nasty when I wanna be! But I’m also an educated, intelligent, ambitious and creative woman! I wanted to be a part of this community of women demonstrating that we can be all these sexual/ sensual things and still be the life-bearing, goddess-like entities that we are held up as. The women of Kink are my sexual ‘coven’. We represent what so many think and crave but dare not say let alone live. We ARE the things that go bump in the night! And we love it! I am grateful for these women who make me feel so much a part of something so necessary. I am grateful for their honesty, their confidence and their sexy! I revel in our KINK!

That feeling in your gut!

You know… the older I get the more I realize the power of a woman's instincts. So often we second guess ourselves simply because we don't want something to be true, but we know what it is! It's that nauseating turning in your gut that creeps up to your mind like a whisper, and then turns into a chant. That little voice that builds in the pit of your stomach and makes its presence known, and says, "Hey bitch, sumthin just ain' right here!" This is true for any number of things, from knowing a lover is cheating to knowing you should not have given that motherfucka in the club your real number.

Why is it that we so often go against our 6^th sense- Intuition! It is second to none in alerting you that something is wrong and yet we continuously push it to the side for self deprecating results. A girlfriend of mine is in this relationship and it seems as though every other day there is something going on with her and her beau. From phone calls in the middle of the night, suggestive texts to random mood swings and bogus accusations. She keeps telling me she knows that something is wrong, but she just can't put a finger on it! She so badly wants to be wrong however that she often comes up with better excuses for him that he does for himself.

So about a month ago he pulled the classic "Let-me-half-confess-to-something-so-that-when-the-other-shoe-drops-I-can-say-that-I-already-mentioned-all-this-so-why-the-fuck-are-you-tripping" strategy. He mentions to her some rumor going around about how he was having some fling with this girl and how she was pregnant for him but got rid of it. And that the trip that he took the week before was supposedly with her, but that was bullshit, she just happened to be on the same flight coming back , but people must have seen them sitting and talking in the airport and made all this shit up. He then proceeds to tell her that's the rumor that he heard and just wanted to bring it up because he knows how people are and didn't want it coming to her and making her worried or catch her off guard. Hmmmmm (side-eye)! The minute she told me this story I immediately felt it too convenient (as did she), but I said nothing (time has taught me not to get involved in people's domestic issues; you can only help those who help themselves)! I simply told her that what happens in the dark always comes out in the ok light and that if there was ANY truth to it all, she would know.

Now the fact that she called me immediately feeling uneasy about the whole thing should have been her first indication that something was wrong. But then two weeks later when she got a random message on her phone playing Aaliyah's song 'If your girl only knew', that should have been the second. But still she chalks it up to petty jealousies and his ex. So when she was packing a suitcase for her son's sleepover last week and went to rip off the baggage tag and it had said other girls surname on it, that 'story' of his should've come flying back at her like Ike did at Tina. But instead it was like sand in a sandstorm. It confused her and choked her up, but ultimately, blinded her. He explained that they checked in together because he had been running late and she let him cut the line, so they checked the bags together and his tag was probably on hers and vice versa. Hmmmm (side eye)! She still didn't fully believe it, she still felt uneasy, she now had that huge raging in her stomach screaming this is bullshit, but she silenced it saying that it WAS possible! Sure it's possible, so is reincarnation but that shit hasn't exactly proven itself true now has it!

I'm sitting here thinking, 'What do you need a picture with the girl straddling him, with a tit in his mouth?' But alas, all in our own time I suppose. So two days ago, when her cousin sent her a link to a Facebook photo of her beau and the ho straddling him in a tank top and panties in a hotel room, I'd say she got what she needed. She cried for hours about how could she not have seen it? Why did she keep making excuses for his sorry ass? Why didn't she follow her gut? Why indeed!

Have you ever been in a situation where you know in your gut that something is wrong and ignored it to your own demise? Are you still kicking yourself for it?

Group Post: The Day.......I found my mOjO

I spent much of my sexually active teenage years wondering just what all the fuss was about! After speaking with quite a few of my friends it seems that I was not alone. After losing my virginity at the not so tender age of 16 (on my birthday may I add) my only regret was not making sure that my partner was maybe a little better endowed, and perhaps a bit more experienced. My first time was not with someone that I loved or even liked for that matter. But in that Hotel room with a view, and the chilled cooler of Bacardi Breezers quelling my every qualm… I gave up the goods. Yup, a little liquid courage was all it took to give up my innocence to a guy with marginal Halitosis, a good sense of humor and an eagerness that rivals only the Republicans in today’s senate!

I didn’t have sex again for almost 2 years after that! Talk about uninterested! I just didn’t get it! I mean what the hell was the point. I would get all hot and bothered and tingly; I’d be loaded, cocked and ready to go and then it was like ‘oh… is that it’! I decided I’d rather not be bothered. Even after I resumed my sexual voyage years later I found myself unable to capture those lusty moments that I saw in the movies or on TV, or even that my friends would speak of. I started thinking that it was something wrong with me. Why don’t I tremble and scream out in ecstasy or buck like a horse when I have an orgasm….. And there it was! Like a hard slap on cold skin. Because I never had… climaxed that is. Duh! I mean sure I had gotten aroused and even had what I assume were like little climaxes, but I had never had an orgasm!!!! Well, that would just not do! This would have to be rectified! You know you always just assume that you have sex you’ll have an orgasm, like the two go hand in hand! Alas, that is not the case, but I was not going to lie (no pun intended) down without a fight, I would not go quietly into the night! I was a woman with a charge!

So now I had a new mission: Mission: Orgasm. My mission (and I chose to accept it) was to explore myself and sexuality and bring myself to this illusive orgasm by any means necessary. Every sexual encounter was like hunting some rare species of crocodile in the rolling Australian Outback. It was treacherous and fun but ever so disappointing when my hunt would come to an end and alas “Crikey! No croc!” After a few months of this my endurance started to wane. It was sucking what little fun I had come to enjoy from sex right out of it. Until one night while I was sitting and having a conversation with a girlfriend, Izzy. Actually she was my girlfriend Nessa’s girlfriend, and not at all timid about sharing her opinions. She was slightly older, very open and overtly sexual, oh … and Italian. As we talked somehow I ended up opening up about my hunt for my big O.

“Well what do you like” she asked it like it should have ended with …”on your pizza”! I didn’t understand the question.

“What makes you hot, what turns you on?” I was still a little lost, and considering she was a stranger, a tad bit uncomfortable.

She pulled herself closer, with a cigarette pulling from her lips and a glass of wine being caressed between her palms. She put down the glass and gestured for my hand. I slid forward and extended my hand. She ran the tips of her fingers around the palm of my hand, trailing them slowly up my arm.

“What do you think about when your legs are wrapped around a man’s shoulders and neck and your clit is between his teeth being stroked with his tongue?” She pulled my wrist to her lips, kissing it and, letting the tip of her tongue caress my pulse points ever so slightly. I was blushing… everywhere.

“Do you think about each flick of his tongue, do you ride the waves of each pulse? Do you listen to the sound of his fluids and yours mingling and heating up between your thighs and draining down your pussy lips, towards the crack of your ass?” I was flushed, I was speechless, and even more relevant I was turned on. Her right hand was moving up my arm, slowly sliding inwards toward my cleavage, while her left hand was playing heat seeking missile, sliding its way up my inner thigh. I was frozen, and melting all at the same time. I was almost hypnotized, watching her with baited breath.

“Careful, Lexi*… how do you think she got me?” Nessa said laughingly. I could see my girlfriend (her girlfriend) curled up in her lounge chair watching us, smiling deviously.

I chuckled knowingly, “I bet!” I broke the connection and slowly and somewhat unwillingly slid back (literally) in my seat.

But she had posed some interesting questions. I had been waiting for this orgasm to happen, but I had not been living in and feeling each moment, each sensation. I hadn’t been connecting my mind with my body! Could it be that I was looking all over for the big “O” and the key to its very existence was in me all along? Was it possibly like the scene at the end of Austin Powers where he’s looking for his MOJO and realizes no one could have stolen it, because it was a part of him?

Later that night when we retired, I could hear them giggling and kissing each other through the bedroom wall. I listened as they cooed over each other. I felt almost intrusive, but I couldn’t help it. I touched myself to the sounds of them making love through the wall. I fantasized about what she had said out on the patio. I touched myself and could still feel her touch lingering on my skin. I could hear them moaning in tandem, like a chorus of lust, building and mounting. I could hear their passionate whispers; I touched myself and closed my eyes and took in every sensation. I imagined her tongue, passionately taking me in. I stroked myself gently and with intense purpose. I focused in on the changes in my bodily sensations and followed my bodies lead. I felt my nipples harden and let my fingers caress them and tease them pulling myself closer to the rhythmic pants that were coming louder now through the bedroom wall. I let my fingers wander, through the familiar yet strangely new terrain that lay between my thighs. I felt every breath cutting in my chest, each exhale rocking me closer to the precipice of my final destination. I felt my fingers beginning to work faster and more tenaciously. I felt the heat between my fingers and my lips intensifying. My mouth started to dry out, and I could barely control my breaths. When everything in my body tingled, when everything started to convulse, when my own hands could no longer keep up with my bodies rhythm I exhaled dug deep and I let myself go! I felt a sensation burst out of me that must have been a cross between a moan and a scream but as I held onto a fistful of sheets at my side, to try and anchor myself to the bed, it was hard to tell. I literally saw stars- there was only white noise! The pulses came fast and hard, like years of bottled up sexual frustration had been shaken and uncorked, unleashed wildly like a bucking Bronco. I finally could hear myself screaming, and it took me a little by surprise. I covered my mouth with one hand and continued to pant as my other hand tried to tame the beast that was slowly calming beneath the sheets. As I came back down from cloud nine, I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh my… Holy Shit!” I laughed to myself. As my laughter faded I heard my friends through the wall again, they were laughing too.

“Goodnight, Lexi*!” Nessa taunted.

“And congratulations, no”? Izzy asked rhetorically. They continued chuckling through the wall.

I bit my lip and covered my face with the pillow, semi-mortified, “Goodnight!” I yelped back.

I rolled over onto my side, settled in and continued to smile as I thought, ‘Mission: Accomplished’.

*= name changed

Thanks to Kimberly for organizing these group posts every month!

Check out the others' "The Day" with Kimberly of The Errant Wife and see who else is taking part in this month's group post: Petal, Ronjazz, Autumn, Gray, Aurore, Barefoot Dreamer, fgsakes, Topaz, Hubman, Ms. Scarlett , Mykeyman, Advizor, Duchess, They belong to us and Veronica.

T-Shirt and my Panties on….(Black Panties!)

I sipped from my glass as I stalked through my apartment lighting candles. I turned up the stereo as The Dream’s voice sultried the air. I sat in the window sipping on a very, dirty Martini (three olives), one leg cocked up against the frame and I could feel a tingling run down my spine as a breeze blew across my bare breasts underneath a white t-shirt! My nipples hardened and I could feel the flesh tighten around the barbells sending a second wave through me! I trailed my hand up my leg towards my thigh; I had just shaved. My skin felt like satin beneath my fingertips. I sat there full face of fierce make-up, glossy red lips, white t-shirt, no bra, Black lace panties, and my black 4” fuck me heels!

As I sat amongst the burning candles, I ate an olive out of my glass feeling the juice from the olive burst out my mouth and trickle down my breast! It was cold! I chuckled as I wiped it up with my fingers and licked them. I looked down and saw a yellow NYC cab pull up. My heart skipped a beat as I watched a tall, dark, sexy specimen pay the cab driver and stroll across the street! Swagger was on! He looked up at me in the window and grinned, licking his lips. I put down my glass, looked in the mirror and walked down the stairs to let him in. I opened the door and his eyes gleamed as they looked me up and down! He stepped in and grabbed me, pushing me up against the wall of the foyer shoving his tongue into my mouth and grabbing me around my waist slowly sliding his hands down to my ass! “Baby”, he panted into my ear, “you don’t have on any clothes!” “I know!” I said wiping the lipstick off his lips, grabbing his carry on and leading him back up the stairs. I looked back at him watching me walk up the stairs as my ass peeked out at him from the bottom of my black lace half-cut boy shorts. He licked his lips- he was mesmerized!

Once back in the apartment, I told him to place his bags into the room and take off all of his clothes. I pulled a chilled glass from the freezer and poured a glass of Hennessey. I walked back towards the bedroom stopping in the bathroom to turn on the shower. As I walked into the room I could see his reflection in the mirror, shoes off and naked from the waist up. I placed the glass into his hand and sunk to my knees. I unfastened his belt and opened his button and pulled everything down in one swoop. He stepped out of his pants and stood there dick hard as a rock and jumping in my face. I smiled! I kissed his groin, his thighs and his pubic area softly. I looked up at him sipping the Hennessey slowly and watching me. I licked the tip of his dick ever so slightly and he jumped! The sweet taste of pre-cum slid down my throat. I smiled and blew across the wet spot that I had left behind. I watched as goose bumps broke across his skin, I didn’t want to tease him too much… he needed to last!

I rose slowly, stroking his thighs the whole way up! “That shower has your name on it!” I purred. He downed the rest of the Hennessey, kissed me and went to the shower. I turned down the sheets rolled a spliff and lit the candles around the bed! I lit the spliff took a few pulls and walked into the bathroom. I pulled back the curtain- DAMN! His hard, wet, chocolate body glistened as the water hit it! I felt my nipples go rock hard and my juices began to flow! I held the spliff out for his lips to meet, he took a deep draw and held it. I put the spliff down and pulled my t-shirt off over my head, still in my heels! He exhaled slowly watching me a cloud of smoke enveloping my body! “When’d you got those?” he choked out, referring to my nipple piercings. I placed the spliff back to his lips and he took another draw. I took another draw slipping out of my heels, placed the blunt in the ashtray on the sink, and stepped into the shower with him! I turned his back to me and lathered him up- rubbing his back and kissing the back of his neck, biting the nape of his neck as he reached behind and grabbed my ass. He spun around and pinned me against the shower wall. He kissed me, deep and hard! I could feel his dick hard against my -stomach, and pulsing. He kissed my face and my neck; he pinned my arms above my head and moved down to my nipples! He took them into his mouth- one at a time at first then both of them together. He tongued them fiercely, making me wetter and wetter! I could feel my pussy jumping and pulsing as I slid down the shower wall.

“Fuck this!” I hopped out of the shower and grabbed the spliff, pulling him behind me! We went into the room and I pushed him back onto the bed. I walked around the bed and attached straps to each of his limbs from the headboard and footboard. I watched as his chest heaved in excitement! I lit the spliff and crawled up the bed towards him. I hovered over him and slipped my tongue into his mouth, then rose slightly and slipped in my nipple. I pulled back and placed the spliff into his mouth. I slid my panties down off of me and balled them up. I pulled the spliff from his mouth and he exhaled. I rubbed the panties in his face, under his nose, “See what you did to me?” I asked, he moaned. As he licked his lips I tucked my wet black, lace panties into his mouth and he groaned, fighting at the straps to hold me!

I pulled myself on top of him and slid his hard dick into my wet, hot pussy! I moaned loudly- surprising myself!! It had been so long since I had felt him! I rode him back and forth and back and forth, slowly grinding and switching the rhythm of my hips. Then quickly bouncing up and down and up and down feeling him deeper and deeper inside me! I could feel him fighting the straps around his wrists and ankles pushing his pelvis upwards toward me- deeper and deeper inside me- I was trembling! I dug by crotch into him and pinned him hard against the mattress. POP! Next thing I know his hands are free! He pulled the panties from his mouth, loosened the straps around his ankles, and flipped me over underneath him! Stroke, STRoke, STROKE! “SHIT!!” I screamed out as he laid backshot after backshot into me! I could feel his dick against my cervix! Just when I though I couldn’t hold back anymore, apparently neither could he. He slammed into me and I pushed back hard- grinding my ass against his pubic bone. And as if on cue we both exploded against each other screaming out in ecstasy!

Juices ran everywhere! Screaming out and shivering his arm holding me around my waist under my breasts, we rocked and trembled; him still deep in me, us both wet and covered in water and sweat! We rolled over onto our backs, panting and grinning wildly! I reached over and lit the spliff! He reached over and grabbed the panties. “Damn!” he said, placing them on his face! “Who knew a t-shirt and some black panties could start all this?” I looked over at him and laughed, taking in a deep draw of the spliff.

I did!

What's your favorite encounter? Has a little fantasy ever taken you a long way?

Check out the rest of the 'Black Panties' Fantasies with Kimberly of The Errant Wife and see who else is taking part in today's group post: Hubman, Veronica, Topaz, Aurore, Eden's Dragon, Petal, Autumn, Me, Enchanted Mistress, Duchess, Southern Girl, and Dick Fitzwell!!!

Private: For your eyes only!!

OK, so usually I don't even get wrapped up in the celebrity scandals, as I think that the inhabitants of Hollyweird are just in a world all their own. But I can't help but notice all the nude celebrity photos and sex tapes that have been 'leaked' lately. I can understand the desire to share a moment of passion and wanting to capture it, but wanting to capture it and actually doing it are two different things. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. So, in this great age of computer hacking, viruses and general connivery, I have but one question....what the fuck are they thinking???

Time has shown us that no good has ever come out of sex tapes. From Pam and Tommy, to Paris and ? to Ray and Kim- I mean really, do these things ever stay private??? NO! I'm from the school of thought that what doesn't exist can't be leaked- makes sense right? Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for sexual exploration, and having those private kinky moments behind close doors, or in bathroom stalls, or the back of a cab, HOWEVER, as soon as video becomes involved, that private(or semi-private) moment becomes public and documented. I'm always most surprised about the embarrassment and dismay that the celebrity, usually the female then goes through, as to how this could have possibly happened? What the fuck do you mean how? Who had the tape, who had access to the tape, who knew about the tape? Because if the answer to that question is anyone other than 'ME', then shit you should have known that this day would come!!

When it comes to sex on camera, personally I'm much more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist! Now don't get me wrong I'm a supporter of a persons right to chose just how freaky they wanna get and just what and who they wanna document it with, but what I don't get is the surprise when it's discovered! Now for the average couple this is not something to worry about except maybe with an incident on Facebook or MySpace, if you pissed them off! However once you are on that celebrity level, these things should just be avoided! Now, this seems like complete common sense to most of us, which leads me to believe that these 'Celeb leaks' are not leaks but in fact promotions of one kind or the other.

To be honest they seem to take the fun out of naughty homemade videos. It's almost as if the sex tape has gone from a sexual act to a promotion tactic. I have had guys and girls give me sexy nude photos and lucky for them I'm the person that I am. However, I have not, will not ever put myself in that position that they so trustingly empowered me with! I love the notion of a sexy secret, a shared moment like going out with no panties and flashing your partner at the perfect moment, or getting a new piercing and revealing it at a moment when they can't do anything about it, however, that's where I'm gonna have to draw the line. People's emotions, egos and loyalties are far to fragile for me to entrust pics of my goodies spread to God's eyes with, and expect them to hold and cherish them. Some things in my opinion are better left in the mind's eye, otherwise be ready to face whatever consequences may ensue.

Have you ever made a sex tape? Did you end up promoting more than you bargained for?

OOOPS! There goes my shirt....Oh MY!

My circumstances of late have helped make me get to KNOW myself quite well again! Not that I'm mad! I really sort of missed my me time! But of late I've been really getting it in! I mean taking work breaks, on commercial breaks, need to sleep type frequency! Again, I ain't mad! Since a very tender age I realised the beauty that was self-pleasure! And I was always eager to share my.....findings! Discuss them, see if I was the only one that had these AWESOME feelings down there! Growing up in a Christian home, in a Christian Society, with Christian friends, however, my findings from my experiments often went unpublicized.

But that didn't stop me! Oh no, in fact I pressed on with ever more verve! I was doing a service to my friends and womankind because surely nobody else knew what I had found, I would have heard about it by now! Somebody would have said something, I mean I'm walking around with this fabulous apparatus between my legs that changes temperature, consistency, gets wet and all in ways that make me feel wonderful belly flop feelings! Until, one night I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep! I flicked on the TV and flashed through the channels and there before my eyes was when I discovered single-handedly the most important tool in my research... HBO late nights!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh- angelic voices sang as the TV's light broke across the room and the sensuous pictures of soft porn floated into my life!

And it was here that my love for masturbation was porn...I mean born! Between the late night stuff and then the um, documentaries such as Real Sex , I was completely enthralled! Hooked on the sexual exploration of it all! I found myself constantly pushing boundaries ... What if I tried this? What's that? How would this feel? What else can I fit up there? ETC. All my explorations with certain falic shaped items seemed strange at first and later just felt amazing! My mother was quite pleased as well. She kept noticing that certain fruits and vegetables would deplete as quick as she could get them in the house. I nervously claimed responsibility, impressing upon her that I was trying to eat healthy! Oh yes, she loved that I was increasing my fruit and vegetable intake(;P)

But I digress... Over the years my love for porn and masturbation grew together! I graduated from produce and soft porn, to rabbits and threesomes! I love laying in the darkness of my room with the glow of the TV enveloping my naked body. Angling the mirror just so, such that I can watch myself -watch my porn, and touch myself! Watching sexy chicks, do nasty things, imagining the things I would have them doing to me if they were so lucky! The wetness dripping down from my pussy as I massage my nipples- licking and sucking them (yeah I can do that)- tickles as it drains down my ass crack and onto my satin sheets! As I watch Carmen Excetera stick her tongue into the warm depths of some unsuspecting newbie, I slowly slide a finger into my pussy ever so gently massaging my clit with my thumb. I watch eagerly, longingly as Carmen bites back her lip as she simultaneously takes backshots from a huge swollen Black dick.

My back arches as my fingers slide down slowly- slipping along a pathway of willing wetness, teasing the dark spot that is emanating heat and pulsing in desperation! I look at myself in the mirror wishing I could fuck me, wishing I could fuck them, loving the way my fingers feel against certain soft spots along my side, along my inner thigh! See there's no guessing here! I know what turns me on! I know where to tease, where to linger where to brush by, and more importantly...WHEN!! I am my own greatest lover! I can stroke fingers into me deep and hard or soft and slow, and I know when I want it which way! I can speed up my vibrator or slow it down just so, sending the perfect speed of pulses through by clit, and up my spine causing a stampede of goose bumps up my stomach and breasts, making my nipples so hard they feel as if they are going to explode -the skin taught around the flesh!

I watch them, hear them- fucking themselves into a frenzy. Sweat on brows- theirs and mine! Bodies melding, the wet slap -slap- slapping of him penetrating her so deeply, shifting her womb in all of his sexual prowess, causing her to scream out in guttural, animalistic groans. Not the fake cute, cardboard moans, but the ugly, dark sinister ones broken up with, "Shit, FUck, Oh God, AAAH fuck, That shit's Soooo deep, shit sooo deep! FUCK" The kinda moans that I swear you can feel, that bring out that inner Barry White! That make you wanna just say fuck it and cum, but you hold out just a little longer! Fingers still foresting, swirling the last bits of composure around, and around! Breaths getting shorter and sharper. Tongue drying out! And just when you can see that she is where he is and he is where she is and they seem to all look at me asking if I am there too... I nod and jam the vibrator hard against my clit and feel my whole body quake and begin to lose control like a rocket re-entering the atmosphere! And a sound builds deep in my diaphragm- guttural yet high pitched, emerging from me before I can even open my mouth, before I even have time to think and now she and he and she and I are all one blurry, hot, silence-piercing choir, cutting through the darkness exhausted, and slightly out of body. And as I lay there composing myself, catching my breath -I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Damp, supple, and sexier than ever! I chuckle to myself and lick my lips ---- Hmmmm! Round two? Next Chapter!

Have you had a one on one lately? Can you appreciate just you and the darkness?

So about this 'Pain as Pleasure' thing!

I've found that over the years I have come into and grown out of various 'addictions'. Nothing hard like cocaine or heroin (though there was that stint with opium), but things like cigarettes, cheeba and public sex just to name a few! But as they have come and gone there have been two that have been more or less steadfast- piercings and tattoos. OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhh! I love me some INK!! On me, on him, on her- I love them!

I love looking at them but even more than that I love getting them! Something about that burn that makes your gut flip, and makes you feel so close to screaming out "Fuck it stop, stop! Please!" that you literally tear up! But you know they can't stop, not until its done, not until the artwork is complete. So you sit there, squirming, biting back you tears and breathing a series of Lamaze patterns that simultaneously remind you of Tantric sex, the meditative nature of it all. I don't know but again it reminds me of being a little empowered, mastering the pain.

When I get tattooed, I can feel it in my womb, in my pussy, in my clit! The burn it creeps around down there like a pleasure troll, carving away for diamonds in a cave! I know it sounds crazy but it's true! I get a rush that I can't really explain! It's a sweet, sexy burn, that makes me sweat in an exasperated fury of pleasure and pain. I've always thought of myself as a masochist but it wasn't until I started getting tattooed that I realized,how much this really was the case!

My passion for self-mutilation as my father would call it began with piercings. Ears, cartilage, nose, tongue, face- if it could be pierced it would be attempted! I remember having piercing parties in the dorms with my girlfriends with nothing but ice, needles, Isopropyl Alcohol and liquid courage! We would sit sweaty palmed being held down by each other squeezing each other's thighs, arms whatever; biting down on the handles of a hairbrush just to brace for the pain. Now that I think about it that kind of seems like a scene out of a porn flick, but I digress. The point is that since a very young age, 14 to be exact, I realized the connection between pleasure and pain, and I embraced it.

Once I graduated to tattoos there was no turning back! I love the experience of going through the pain and having something beautiful after it was all done. People always say that tattoos are a form of self-expression; and expression of who we are, and I couldn't agree more! For me it's an expression of who I am, and my pleasure for pain!!

What gets you there? What's your pleasure/pain principal?

C O N T R O L

It was the sexually free and innovative Samantha Jones (Sex and the City) who uttered the words, "Honey, I'm a TRY-SEXUAL! I'll TRY anything SEXUAL!" And for me no truer words have ever been uttered!! Mind you I do have my limitations, NO BESTIALITY for me thank you very much! But other than that there is very little that I wouldn't TRY!

Since a very young age I knew that my sexuality was far more advanced than the average girl my age! And it wasn't for being promiscuous, in fact though I lost my virginity at 16, I didn't have sex again for almost two years! But it was things that happened along the way that really brought out my true sexuality!

Around the age of 16 I developed an insatiable appetite for giving head. I remember the exact moment at which this happened. Looking up into the eyes of a beautiful man whose body trembled beneath my touch, whose loins shivered as I slid him deeper and deeper into my mouth. The way the change in pressure around his cock in my mouth and his balls in my hands made him curl his toes and squirm like a little girl. Every spiral stroked hand movement up and down his shaft with my mouth suckling on his throbbing head brought him closer and closer to sheer Ecstasy and it was all my doing! The first time I made a man cum by just using my hands I was in awe, but when I made him cum even harder using my mouth and hands it was a wrap... I was hooked!!

Now for most women who claim not to give head it's usually because of some notion of feeling degraded or slutty! But for me it was the complete opposite, I felt in control, I felt empowered! That I could do this to someone !!! That I could make someone feel so out of control and be in control of how he cums and when he cums all at the same time. This was my high, my WET!! I became a perfectionist! Trying different techniques exploring different areas around the cock and balls and playing with everything learning how to give and how to take, and I wanted to make every man that crossed my past know that I was the best! And to this day, I still got it!

Because, I love it! I like to give head, you can't really be great at anything that you don't enjoy doing! I love the softness of the skin against my tongue, the firmness of the shaft filling the warm wetness of my mouth. The slightly sweet that is eventually followed by the salty, sexy pungency! The pulses that run down the cock as he gets closer to his nut. The way his toes curl, the way he holds my face and hair, the way his eyes water as I look into his eyes all while sucking him soft and slow then hard and fast. The sound of his voice as he releases in my mouth, grunting, panting, screaming out, out of breath, out of control, out of his mind! I'm wet as I write this!

Sexual control is addictive, it creeps up inside you and sits low in your groin like a spark waiting for just the right accelerant! I grew addicted to the power, so naturally, I wanted more! How else could I get this feeling, what else....who ....else? So now, my curiosity leads me to other outlets, towards more delicate and difficult territories. The softer sex if you will. But am I ready for that step? Am I ready to take on the 'Feminine Mystique'! Well, we'll save that for next time . . . right now I feel inspired, I'm going headhunting!

Do you crave sexual control? What makes you feel empowered?