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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

That feeling in your gut!

You know… the older I get the more I realize the power of a woman's instincts. So often we second guess ourselves simply because we don't want something to be true, but we know what it is! It's that nauseating turning in your gut that creeps up to your mind like a whisper, and then turns into a chant. That little voice that builds in the pit of your stomach and makes its presence known, and says, "Hey bitch, sumthin just ain' right here!" This is true for any number of things, from knowing a lover is cheating to knowing you should not have given that motherfucka in the club your real number.

Why is it that we so often go against our 6th sense- Intuition! It is second to none in alerting you that something is wrong and yet we continuously push it to the side for self deprecating results. A girlfriend of mine is in this relationship and it seems as though every other day there is something going on with her and her beau. From phone calls in the middle of the night, suggestive texts to random mood swings and bogus accusations. She keeps telling me she knows that something is wrong, but she just can't put a finger on it! She so badly wants to be wrong however that she often comes up with better excuses for him that he does for himself.

So about a month ago he pulled the classic "Let-me-half-confess-to-something-so-that-when-the-other-shoe-drops-I-can-say-that-I-already-mentioned-all-this-so-why-the-fuck-are-you-tripping" strategy. He mentions to her some rumor going around about how he was having some fling with this girl and how she was pregnant for him but got rid of it. And that the trip that he took the week before was supposedly with her, but that was bullshit, she just happened to be on the same flight coming back , but people must have seen them sitting and talking in the airport and made all this shit up. He then proceeds to tell her that's the rumor that he heard and just wanted to bring it up because he knows how people are and didn't want it coming to her and making her worried or catch her off guard. Hmmmmm (side-eye)! The minute she told me this story I immediately felt it too convenient (as did she), but I said nothing (time has taught me not to get involved in people's domestic issues; you can only help those who help themselves)! I simply told her that what happens in the dark always comes out in the ok light and that if there was ANY truth to it all, she would know.

Now the fact that she called me immediately feeling uneasy about the whole thing should have been her first indication that something was wrong. But then two weeks later when she got a random message on her phone playing Aaliyah's song 'If your girl only knew', that should have been the second. But still she chalks it up to petty jealousies and his ex. So when she was packing a suitcase for her son's sleepover last week and went to rip off the baggage tag and it had said other girls surname on it, that 'story' of his should've come flying back at her like Ike did at Tina. But instead it was like sand in a sandstorm. It confused her and choked her up, but ultimately, blinded her. He explained that they checked in together because he had been running late and she let him cut the line, so they checked the bags together and his tag was probably on hers and vice versa. Hmmmm (side eye)! She still didn't fully believe it, she still felt uneasy, she now had that huge raging in her stomach screaming this is bullshit, but she silenced it saying that it WAS possible! Sure it's possible, so is reincarnation but that shit hasn't exactly proven itself true now has it!

I'm sitting here thinking, 'What do you need a picture with the girl straddling him, with a tit in his mouth?' But alas, all in our own time I suppose. So two days ago, when her cousin sent her a link to a Facebook photo of her beau and the ho straddling him in a tank top and panties in a hotel room, I'd say she got what she needed. She cried for hours about how could she not have seen it? Why did she keep making excuses for his sorry ass? Why didn't she follow her gut? Why indeed!

Have you ever been in a situation where you know in your gut that something is wrong and ignored it to your own demise? Are you still kicking yourself for it?


Ronjazz said...

Honey, I think anyone who hasn't been in that spot is not being truthful. And yes, even though I don't kick as hard, I still kick myself on occasion...

Sheba said...

I really have to say that typically, when this happens to me I run TOWARDS the instinct and become like a prosecutor, sleeping with one eye open and collecting evidence and documents as I prepare for closing arguments. Its hurt deeply, but been a necessary step. Everything done in the dark comes to light.