I've found that over the years I have come into and grown out of various 'addictions'. Nothing hard like cocaine or heroin (though there was that stint with opium), but things like cigarettes, cheeba and public sex just to name a few! But as they have come and gone there have been two that have been more or less steadfast- piercings and tattoos. OOOOOOOOOOOhhhhh! I love me some INK!! On me, on him, on her- I love them!
I love looking at them but even more than that I love getting them! Something about that burn that makes your gut flip, and makes you feel so close to screaming out "Fuck it stop, stop! Please!" that you literally tear up! But you know they can't stop, not until its done, not until the artwork is complete. So you sit there, squirming, biting back you tears and breathing a series of Lamaze patterns that simultaneously remind you of Tantric sex, the meditative nature of it all. I don't know but again it reminds me of being a little empowered, mastering the pain.
When I get tattooed, I can feel it in my womb, in my pussy, in my clit! The burn it creeps around down there like a pleasure troll, carving away for diamonds in a cave! I know it sounds crazy but it's true! I get a rush that I can't really explain! It's a sweet, sexy burn, that makes me sweat in an exasperated fury of pleasure and pain. I've always thought of myself as a masochist but it wasn't until I started getting tattooed that I realized,how much this really was the case!
My passion for self-mutilation as my father would call it began with piercings. Ears, cartilage, nose, tongue, face- if it could be pierced it would be attempted! I remember having piercing parties in the dorms with my girlfriends with nothing but ice, needles, Isopropyl Alcohol and liquid courage! We would sit sweaty palmed being held down by each other squeezing each other's thighs, arms whatever; biting down on the handles of a hairbrush just to brace for the pain. Now that I think about it that kind of seems like a scene out of a porn flick, but I digress. The point is that since a very young age, 14 to be exact, I realized the connection between pleasure and pain, and I embraced it.
Once I graduated to tattoos there was no turning back! I love the experience of going through the pain and having something beautiful after it was all done. People always say that tattoos are a form of self-expression; and expression of who we are, and I couldn't agree more! For me it's an expression of who I am, and my pleasure for pain!!
What gets you there? What's your pleasure/pain principal?