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Monday, May 4, 2009

OOOPS! There goes my shirt....Oh MY!

My circumstances of late have helped make me get to KNOW myself quite well again! Not that I'm mad! I really sort of missed my me time! But of late I've been really getting it in! I mean taking work breaks, on commercial breaks, need to sleep type frequency! Again, I ain't mad! Since a very tender age I realised the beauty that was self-pleasure! And I was always eager to share my.....findings! Discuss them, see if I was the only one that had these AWESOME feelings down there! Growing up in a Christian home, in a Christian Society, with Christian friends, however, my findings from my experiments often went unpublicized.

But that didn't stop me! Oh no, in fact I pressed on with ever more verve! I was doing a service to my friends and womankind because surely nobody else knew what I had found, I would have heard about it by now! Somebody would have said something, I mean I'm walking around with this fabulous apparatus between my legs that changes temperature, consistency, gets wet and all in ways that make me feel wonderful belly flop feelings! Until, one night I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep! I flicked on the TV and flashed through the channels and there before my eyes was when I discovered single-handedly the most important tool in my research... HBO late nights!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh- angelic voices sang as the TV's light broke across the room and the sensuous pictures of soft porn floated into my life!

And it was here that my love for masturbation was porn...I mean born! Between the late night stuff and then the um, documentaries such as Real Sex , I was completely enthralled! Hooked on the sexual exploration of it all! I found myself constantly pushing boundaries ... What if I tried this? What's that? How would this feel? What else can I fit up there? ETC. All my explorations with certain falic shaped items seemed strange at first and later just felt amazing! My mother was quite pleased as well. She kept noticing that certain fruits and vegetables would deplete as quick as she could get them in the house. I nervously claimed responsibility, impressing upon her that I was trying to eat healthy! Oh yes, she loved that I was increasing my fruit and vegetable intake(;P)

But I digress... Over the years my love for porn and masturbation grew together! I graduated from produce and soft porn, to rabbits and threesomes! I love laying in the darkness of my room with the glow of the TV enveloping my naked body. Angling the mirror just so, such that I can watch myself -watch my porn, and touch myself! Watching sexy chicks, do nasty things, imagining the things I would have them doing to me if they were so lucky! The wetness dripping down from my pussy as I massage my nipples- licking and sucking them (yeah I can do that)- tickles as it drains down my ass crack and onto my satin sheets! As I watch Carmen Excetera stick her tongue into the warm depths of some unsuspecting newbie, I slowly slide a finger into my pussy ever so gently massaging my clit with my thumb. I watch eagerly, longingly as Carmen bites back her lip as she simultaneously takes backshots from a huge swollen Black dick.

My back arches as my fingers slide down slowly- slipping along a pathway of willing wetness, teasing the dark spot that is emanating heat and pulsing in desperation! I look at myself in the mirror wishing I could fuck me, wishing I could fuck them, loving the way my fingers feel against certain soft spots along my side, along my inner thigh! See there's no guessing here! I know what turns me on! I know where to tease, where to linger where to brush by, and more importantly...WHEN!! I am my own greatest lover! I can stroke fingers into me deep and hard or soft and slow, and I know when I want it which way! I can speed up my vibrator or slow it down just so, sending the perfect speed of pulses through by clit, and up my spine causing a stampede of goose bumps up my stomach and breasts, making my nipples so hard they feel as if they are going to explode -the skin taught around the flesh!

I watch them, hear them- fucking themselves into a frenzy. Sweat on brows- theirs and mine! Bodies melding, the wet slap -slap- slapping of him penetrating her so deeply, shifting her womb in all of his sexual prowess, causing her to scream out in guttural, animalistic groans. Not the fake cute, cardboard moans, but the ugly, dark sinister ones broken up with, "Shit, FUck, Oh God, AAAH fuck, That shit's Soooo deep, shit sooo deep! FUCK" The kinda moans that I swear you can feel, that bring out that inner Barry White! That make you wanna just say fuck it and cum, but you hold out just a little longer! Fingers still foresting, swirling the last bits of composure around, and around! Breaths getting shorter and sharper. Tongue drying out! And just when you can see that she is where he is and he is where she is and they seem to all look at me asking if I am there too... I nod and jam the vibrator hard against my clit and feel my whole body quake and begin to lose control like a rocket re-entering the atmosphere! And a sound builds deep in my diaphragm- guttural yet high pitched, emerging from me before I can even open my mouth, before I even have time to think and now she and he and she and I are all one blurry, hot, silence-piercing choir, cutting through the darkness exhausted, and slightly out of body. And as I lay there composing myself, catching my breath -I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Damp, supple, and sexier than ever! I chuckle to myself and lick my lips ---- Hmmmm! Round two? Next Chapter!

Have you had a one on one lately? Can you appreciate just you and the darkness?


Mistress Bliss said...

No I haven't but thanks for sharing. This has reminded me how much I miss self love. I use to feel ashamed when watching cinemax as a kid and that traveled into adulthood whenever I masturbated. I'm getting over that and I find myself doing it more now than ever. As a kid, I remember inviting people over or going to my friends who were stealing cable; those freaks introduced me to vivid pay pre view and it was a wrap every since then. You've inspired me to rush down memory lane .. I'm off.

Confessor X said...

Late night HBO was a young mans tool too...remember the show "Dream On" mmmm that helped me out many a nights!!! not to mention this post this morning, MMMMM!!