TMI Tuesday #193 (rebroadcast) Above the Law

1. How many speeding tickets have you had? Accidents?
Even though I've been driving for like 13 years I had never gotten any speeding tickets until maybe two years ago. Thus far I have SIX! I better slow my ass down. I've had two accidents, one when I first started driving and another last summer, thank God both very minor.

2. Boxers, briefs or commando?
There is something so very sexy about boxer briefs. They are tight and loose in all the right places. Love em!

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?
Does phone sex count?

4. Do you or your so own a motorcycle? Do you ever ride one? Do you wear a helmet when you ride?
I don't own a motorcycle but I've always wanted one...I've ridden on the back of quite a few...usually at somebody's Bike Week or something.

5. Ever been skinny dipping?
Ask me this in a month...it's on this summer's To-Do list. :-P

Bonus: Ever been arrested? Turned someone in/had someone arrested?
Never been arrested but I've been on probation before. Driving shit. Sucks.
Nooo never had to have someone arrested but dammit I have wanted to a few times...


Happy TMI Tuesday!

Anything you want to share that's not any of our damn business?

Three's a Crowd?

I spent the weekend in Virginia with a bunch of academics talking about ethics in marital and family therapy. Great group of people, fantastic conversation, but my diamond studded pink pocket rocket was near burnout by day two of the trip. Bored and horny I called home early Saturday to talk to the Mister.

Mister: How's the meeting going?

Sheba: It's good, I'm enjoying myself, but feeling a little lonely wishing you were here to spice things up a bit.

Mister: I met someone last night who might be able to help with that when you get home.

Sheba: Really? What's her name? What's she like?

I could hear her giggling in the background. Curious.

Sheba: Is she in the car with you?

Mister: She's here.

Sheba: Do you have me on speakerphone?

Mister: No but you're talking so loud she can hear you from the passenger seat.

I could feel his smile through the phone.

Sheba: Ahhh, I see. What does she look like?

Mister: Dark skinned, petite.

Sheba: How are her breasts? Other assets?

Mister: Nice. You're going to like her.

Sheba: Okay, send me a picture.

I was feeling lukewarm. His last play partner was cute, gorgeous breasts and other than the fact she had issue holding any liquor that was not champagne she was mostly fun to party with. But being in her company, sexual or otherwise left a little bit to be desired. Let's just say her personality rubbed me the wrong way. If this one passed the aesthetic test perhaps she'd pass the personality test as well. When my phone pinged a few minutes after we hung up, I wasn't expecting the cute round face, almond shaped eyes and bright smile that appeared on my phone screen.

The smile on my lips went straight to my pussy. Maybe this time he'd found us a 3rd.

TMI Tuesday #192 Love or Money

1. Would you stay in a loveless relationship for the amazing sex?
NO. Sex is great but does not have a binding hold on me. I love it but great sex can be bought so it’s not a reason to subject myself to a life of misery.

2. If you could only have one, which would you choose: love that lasts forever or great, body numbing sex?
Hhhmm had to think about this one - one since I have to make a choice but love that lasts forever. Perhaps I could bring my partner(s) to a decent level and supplement with my toys. I’m big on penis size AND knowing how to work it. I’ve dated some men that would put King Kong to shame. While the relationships were going well, I thought I’d never be able to wean myself away should things go down hill. Funny how quickly I got over that once things went south.

3. Looking back at your past loves, which one should you have married/taken back and who should you have tossed earlier than you did?
Should have married and taken back J – I would be a very wealthy woman right now, spending my summer at our Hampton's Estate. Although we’ve gone our separate ways, part of me feels strongly that our paths will cross romantically and seriously before we leave this earth.

Should have left D – I would have saved myself baby-mama drama and not wasted so much time of my precious life.

4. If you had one last fuck in you where, how and who would you “give it” to?
I love my partner but M would “get it.” HARD.

5. Which is more important sex, money, love and happiness? (and no, you can’t pick’em all)
Darn. Why did y’all have to ask me this one!?! I’ve been battling with these choices for years. Had I answered a few years ago, I would have said money was significantly in the lead but now I’m not so sure – it’s in a close race with love. In theory I say Love (family), Happiness, Money and Sex. In practice, my actions show Money, Love, Happiness and Sex. If I’m sitting around in love and happy with no money, my feelings will soon turn to unhappiness. I’m a business woman and very focused so unfortunately and to the annoyance of my loved ones – business (money) comes first.


Happy TMI Tuesday!

Anything you want to share that's not any of our damn business?

High and Dry

"Talk to me or you already know i'm going to fall asleep," he warns. This guy loves to hint that you're boring him which is probably an all-to-often annoyance for a man in his profession. That was the detail that really drew me to him in the first place. I was a naive and inexperienced girl when we met at my coming of age. I was intent on enjoying that year in every way possible and from the moment he tracked me down, I knew he had it in for me and his lifestyle was my ticket.

He instantly loved that I was that pleasant, smiley, simple girl among the kinky, nasty women he's conquered. He gets a kick out of being the teacher ... most of the time. We have also gotten into bitter arguments about my naivete. He still calls me 'preppy', alluding to a host of things but mainly to my lack of know-how. If there was ever a man to turn me on ... and out, he did the job. He's always been there to tutor me every time I ask for extra attention. I like having that little bit of power over him. He's always interested ... even after he's seen 234629742397 beautiful faces in the streets. He'd speed to pick me up afterwards ... he'd have his way ... and loves that I handle every move, every challenge like an Honor Roll student. I might be an amateur ... just a kitten after all but I can keep up; I always land on my feet. He teaches me something new every time but never goes too hard on me. Literally. We cuddle and spoon to sleep afterwards. He 'knows' i'm still that romantic type though he's tried his best to fuck that out of me.

It's been quite a while since we've been intimate. I'd never been good at the casual thing and we lasted way too long. My recent attempts at commitment with my main squeeze have failed and your girl is feeling lonelier than ever. I'm a creature of comfort ... that is I always prefer to return to my past than add to my number and though many miles now divide us, one night I just knew he was the right one to call. I turned my flirt button on, sat up in my bed and used THAT voice on him. While I asked him how his birthday went and what he was up to, he already knew that I wasn't just calling to catch up. "Why didn't you fly in for my party," he asked? "Well, because a girl doesn't get any special attention on that day," I responded suggestively. "I never took you home with me on my birthday," he asked? He had. And as I remembered that night my pussy tingled. I opened my legs beginning to caress myself. He heard my deeper breathing and began coaching me, like a good teacher does. I was in. Class in session ... though phone sex was a first for us. "Take everything off babe," and I followed, taking a nipple in my finger and twisting it ... hard, squirming in anticipation ... I could feel the moisture developing at my pussy. I began giving my clit special attention as he whispered to me a mix of nasty and endearing things. But, I soon began to get bored. It's been so disgustingly long since my last fuck, my appetite is through the roof and the concentration was there but my act of self love just wasn't doing it for me. I became withdrawn as I fantasized about how he could do me. His every word made me long for the real thing. I only wanted dick and with that, I knew our conversation was over for the night as I rolled over in my bed unmoved and unsatisfied.

I hate to be the designated freshman of Kink...well I lie, who wouldn't want to be schooled via the adventures of the women on this blog? But tell me, am I missing something? This experience left something to be desired. Isn't phone sex supposed to be better than this?

HNT: Ass of the Party

I had the dig into the archives for this one. Bachelorette parties bring out the worst in me. At a party in Atlanta this outfit was my attempt to dress in theme (think Vegas Whore House). I will say it here, as I said to my fellow revelers as I strolled the bride-to-be's living room during the voting for best outfit - when I bought these bottoms the salesperson assured me they were hot pants, and would cover my ample ASSets. Clearly, she was misinformed!

Happy Happy HNT! Visit Osbasso and see who else is playing.

Sleepfuck Me, Baby (A Vignette featuring The Professional)

It was about 3 a.m. The Professional had fucked me all night long, I’d sucked him into oblivion several times…and we were still going. My poor sofa had been christened a milli times over, and I was on my knees palms were flat up against the wall, I was getting it good from behind. My locs were damp and in my face, tits bouncing with each thrust. When I turned back to look at him his face was red and concentrated, his perfect form made me sigh as he continued to bang the shit out of me. He turned me onto my back and started to pile drive me into yet another leg-trembling orgasm. He smiled, pounded harder and said, “Oh yeah?” as I cursed and announced I was cumming. He let me regain my composure and suggested we move to the bed.

I followed The Professional into my bed and got in. He lay down and motioned for me to get on top. I sat on his dick and ground my hips, rocked and bounced. I kept going until I came again and then he grabbed me and turned me over. On my back now, he pushed inside me and pressed up against me. Slowly, he began to massage my g-spot with each stroke. I was moaning and groaning and his movements were so smooth, so fluid…almost as if he was on cruise control. He was even so into it, he had gotten completely quiet. Well, not exactly.

I was grinding my pussy back up into him when I hear, “S-N-N-N-R-G.” Um, Hello? I know this dude isn’t snoring? Is he..?

*Tap, tap* “Are you sleeping?” I asked him. Have incredulous, half laughing. “Do you know your ass was just sleepfucking me?” I said. “I wasn’t sleeping,” he said. And started to thrust deeper. At this point, I was laughing, and in amazement that this guy could manage to sleep and continue to fuck simultaneously. The Professional truly is committed to his work. But unlike him, I could not sleep and fuck simultaneously, so I told him to go ahead and roll his ass off of me so we could both get some sleep. He pumped a few more times for good measure and we both tapped out. Simultaneously.

Have you ever gotten it so good, your body had to force you to stop?

TMI Tuesday #191 (weddings edition)

Have you ever...

1. been married?
Nope, marriage isn't even on my radar right now. I'm 100% single and desperate to mingle!

2. been divorced? been remarried?
No, and I'd like not to go through that experience if I can help it.

3. had sex at a wedding reception?
Actually, I have never been to a wedding in my life.

4. had sex with someone you first met at a wedding or wedding reception?
Obviously no but that's a great fantasy; I'm pretty sure i'd be up for it with the right someone.

5. given a a toast to the bride and groom?
No. However, I do have a toast ready for one of my best friends when she gets married. She is a commitment phobe yet I'm convinced she'll be the first to take the plunge.


Happy TMI Tuesday!

Anything you want to share that's not any of our damn business?

It's Morning... (The Last Time)

It was dark. Even in the middle of the day and the early morning it's dark in her studio. The whore red walls, mahogany furniture and single window turn the three small rooms into a cave. Perhaps it's just the kind of space her line of work requires, night blending into day and day to night so that sleeping is always possible. It's a rare overnight that I spend in her bed and when my eyes opened in the early morning hours it took me a few minutes to orient myself. Turning my head to the left brought her full C-cups into view. Her hair was spread all over the pillow under her head and her hand was thrown across her eyes as if to block out the small streams of sunlight that had eluded the blinds.

I was immediately restless. My body was still tired from the long night before, but my mind was alert, still consuming the party favors I'd indulged in less than eight hours earlier. I got up and walked over to the kitchen, wrapping the sheet around my body and dragging it behind me. I grabbed a bottle of the DragonFruit Vitamin Water she always kept on hand for me out of the fridge. I stood there with the door open gulping until the bottle was empty. My nipple hardened in the cool air and my pussy had begun to get wet. I touched myself there briefly, and raised my fingers up to examine the residue in the dim light, finally slipping my finger into my mouth and tasting myself. Guilty as I felt about even considering waking her up, my stomach had started to rumble, and I was licking my lips repeatedly - partly from thirst, partly from the desire to taste her.

I left the sheet on the floor of the kitchen and walked back to the bed. I climbed in near the footboard, and slid my arms under her thighs pulling her legs slowly apart and gently dragging her bottom half closer to my face. She moved slightly still half asleep, and watching her, as my tongue began the lick her clit, I saw her lips curl into a smile.

The last time wasn't about her fingers inside me. It wasn't about my muscles clenching around her fingers. The last time wasn't about the sounds of my deep moans alongside the gentle hum of my blue dolphin or my streaming cum as her finger massaged my gspot. The last time was about the taste of her sweetness, her wetness dripping down the inside of her upper thigh, her stomach clenching with her release, her shallow breaths in the aftermath. The last time, wasn't about me.

When is the last time you "gave"?

Check out the others' 'Last Times' with Kimberly of The Errant Wife and see who else is taking part in this month's group post: Danimo, Hubman, Bdenied, Enchanted Mistress, Petal, Aurore, Topaz, Ronjazz and Autumn.

TMI Tuesdays #190 Sexperiences

Have you ever...
1. had sex with someone ten years older or younger than you?
Not yet, but I recently met this sexyass fellow blogger that's 10 years my junior. He's a true Y.I.L.F. (Young'n I'd Love to Fuck)

2. drawn from a nude model or been a nude model?
Neither, but when I was a journalist, I wrote a story about nude modeling. Had to sit in the room with a straight face while this guy who thought he was Adonis pose his ugly ass off!

3. had sex at a company Christmas party?
Hmmm...I got head at a Christmas party in 1999...Damn, thinking about it makes me wanna listen to Prince rght now...

4. had a blind date?
yes. and it sucked.

5. slept with a teacher?
yes. and he sucked...very well. Well, not a teacher, but a T.A., when i was at FSU...he was editing a paper for me. I wrote the paper fucked up on purpose just so i could get him to my dorm for some ass..Mission was accomplished. And I got a decent grade in the class!

Bonus (as in optional): had sex with someone within an hour of meeting them?
Not an hour, same day though...


Happy TMI Tuesday!

Anything you want to share that's not any of our damn business?

Liar, Liar My Pussy On Fire

I hate Internet dating, mainly because people lie. I have profiles on several different sites and I strive for accuracy in my description including tons of current pictures. I think honesty is necessary for a mutually fulfilling encounter. What I can’t understand is why people don’t repay the favor. When your move to a new city the Internet a necessary evil so that was my first opportunity to communicate with South Florida's woman loving public. So I posted an ad and waited patiently for the responses to pour in.

When I first posted I was feeling friendly but by the time the responses started coming in I was feeling frisky. I decided to accept the first request for sex because I was desperate but I had high hopes it would be satisfying. Now I set myself up for failure by not requesting full body pictures or headshots, but the pics of double D’s I did receive had me distracted so I pressed for a quick meet. We decided to connect at a shopping center and as I pulled up a light drizzle turned into a steady rain. I arrived first and waited in my car dreaming of the nasty things that were about to go down. Her Chevy Tahoe pulled into the lot. Her windows were tinted adding to the excitement.

She calls me over so I approach the driver’s side. Time was crawling as the power window snuck down. I have this thing were my eyes speak for me, and I am certain they were screaming FUCK NO. I don’t care what anyone says, facial hair on woman is not acceptable. She had a 5 o’clock shadow that was mean. To call her rotund would be an understatement and to say I was unenthusiastic would be putting it mildly. I was looking at her and thoughts of a penguin flooded my mind. I figure she was sitting so maybe she needed to stand up and spread things out. She rolls out the car and presents more of the same and I wanted to cry. My pussy was ON FIRE and after I gave her the once over I was too through. She said she needed to go into the store and pick up a few items for dinner. I’m like great so she plans on eating before. How attractive! We shop and all the while I’m sweating bullets thinking of ways to get out of this madness.

I tell myself fuck it. You here, and now you have a wonderful cautionary tale to share with the masses. We head to a pay by the hour hoe-tel and she alerts me that we have to park in the far corner “cause my man work around here and I don’t want him to see me creeping.” Now I'm really disguised but I’ve already committed and I’m no quitter. I run to the bathroom and try to freshen up and I come back into the room to find her naked. This bitch was round y'all. I mean circular in every sense of the word. I don’t know how she faked great breasts but what I saw was a floppy, sloppy mess. I was so sad. There would be no pussy eating or kissing going on. And I was so good; there was no need for her to touch me. I told the penguin to lay down and I was lowering myself to what I believed was the nipple when I saw a hairy ring of fire. At that point I said fuck that I’m ova. I kindly declined the encounter, got dressed and rolled out. Fuck my deposit. I felt bad leaving her but I figured she could call her man for a ride back to her car.

Has the Internet also deceived you?

TMI Tuesday #189 - Dating edition

1. What was the last movie you saw on a date?
Transformers 2. I made the mistake of agreeing to go see it the night it came out at 12:05 AM. I was so asleep by about 1:30 :-(

2. What was the last meal you had on a date?
Mexican Taco Salad...it was great

3. When was the last time you made out in the car on a date? More?
Hmmm...I guess that was Tuesday. I needed to get home so we ended up stopping mid-hook up. Had to wait til Wednesday to finish up...but we went inside for Part 2.

4. Using a dating websites do you think you are more likely to find a "hook up" or a relationship?
Ahhh, this is a tough one. I have began quite a few "relationships" on dating websites even though I may have initially been looking for a "hook-up". Then again I've had a few hook-ups as well...pretty good ones too. I should knock on wood somewhere I guess I have been kind of lucky.

5. Do you have any special "first" date rituals? Flowers, certain restaurant, etc.
NO! If I have a first date I probably don't want to do the same shit that I did the last "first date" that didn't work out and is the reason I am on another first date. :-)

BONUS QUESTION: Do you believe in sex on the first date? Can a relationship bloom if you have sex on the first date?
I mean I ummmm....well see...I guess it's like...BELIEVE IN IT?? I don't think I BELIEVE in it but I am not opposed to it. I've seen (and experienced) beautiful relationships that have developed after sex on the first date so I know it's possible. I've also seen (and experienced) just the opposite.



Happy TMI Tuesday!

Anything you want to share that's not any of our damn business?

Bow Chicka Bow Wow: "The Professional"

The World Wide Web is so useful for connecting people with the things that they need. Hungry people can look up the nearest food delivery spot; budget divas can find discounted clothes; and every now and again, Pink runs up on some good dick.

Enter The Professional.

It started out, as fairly amicable tweets between two fellow herb-smoking fuckalots. Both of us, were also committed to enjoying sex: I write about fucking, and he, well, he fucks. The Professional works in the adult industry, and though I didn't know it then, I know now that he is an EXPERT at his craft. No bullshit.

I'd been alerted via tweet that The Professional was coming in town, so being the hospitable person I am, I tweeted back, letting him know that when he touched down, I'd be down for an herbal session, or whatever...he was down. I had every intention of getting a free screening of his cumming attractions, but I liked the little game we were trying to play.. lol, as if neither of us already knew what kind of straight fucking we'd be engaged in. I'd never fucked a Pro before, and though I've been told I'm skilled in various areas, I wanted to see if I could hold my own with a man who literally fucks for a living!

When I pulled into the Arrivals deck of MIA (I had offered to pick him up), I started thinking about what he looked like in his pictures online--partly, because I wanted to be able to find him and partly because if he didn't look like he did online I was gonna keep on trucking and Homie would have to make alternate arrangements! There he is! Ahh, he's still a cutie...but damn, he's slim.

Lord, please don't let me break this boy. ("Heh," God replied. "You have no idea")

He gets in the car, hyper and friendly as a muthafucker. We make small talk, ran a quick herb errand and then head to the beach, where Pink's Lair is (or, the Bat Cave..which I later heard him refer to it as, I still need to ask about that). In the car, I knew things would get unscripted when I look out the corner of my eye and saw him unbuttoning his pants. He said something, which I vaguely remember hearing, and I looked, almost ran off the road because I thought he was going to whip out his Cockus Maximus...but he didn't. He was trying to show me a tattoo. Shit, ne-ga-ro!! When one goes unbuttoning, Pink's expecting to see some meat. Boy almost made me die BEFORE sex... which is a bad look all around. I didn't even see that damn tattoo all that well--though I did get eye to eye with it a little later-- Put it away, Homie. For now, at least.

So we get to my house and we're chilling. Getting lifted and laughing..a lot. This guy is funny as hell and I'm sure that added to me wanting to fuck the shit out of him as soon as the bud kicked in. He sat back and I saw his woody. "Wow," I though. Pretty substantial tent for such a little guy. He says, "I've got the munchies." I'm high as hell, too, so I start offering him popcorn, chips, juice....He cut me off, looked towards my crotch region and said, "I wanna eat that." Ah, hem. My bad. Knock your self out, Homie. And he did. His oral skills were on POINT and I was just about to cum the third time when he lifted his head and flipped me over (strong dude, yo) and pushed all up in my throat. Holy shit. The Professional commenced to fuck the shit out of me. On my side. Back. Stomach. Knees. Legs up. Legs back. Me on top. Bent over....About an hour or so in, I don't think he stopped for longer than the time it took to instruct me into the next position. Okay, okay, OKAYY!! Am I still cumming? WTF?

"You ready to tap out?" He asked. Smirking. "Hell no," I said. I had talked enough shit, I was going to take this beating like a woman. He sat back and I put my mouth over his dick. Partly to buy my pussy some recuperation time, and partly to repay him for the proper thrashing he was putting on me. I started to engulf him and he sucked in his breath, I knew he would like it. I swirled my tongue around the head and pressed my tongue along the underside of his dick while I took it all the way down my throat. I gulped on it, letting his head feel my muscle tighten and pulse around him. "Oh, shit," he said. Repeatedly. I knew he had enjoyed the pussy, all of that pounding, how could he not? But the head game. This is what had him making what I can only guess was the hardest "Oh-face" he could manage. I started to suck faster, then slower. Alternating between sucking the head and deepthroating. He was loving it, and from how wet my pussy was getting, I was loving it more. I was continuing my special attention when he pulled me off him, pushed me onto my back and slid into me. He pushed my legs back to my chest and pounded the shit out of my pussy. It was amazing! He had found my g-spot and his dick was banging into it with a porn star's furor. And he kept going. And going. And going....

We started fucking around 7 p.m. Took a few hydro and hydration breaks. We finally hit the sheets around 3 a.m. The Professional had fucked me for 8 hours, no pills...no enhancements...just a very lovely dick, youthful stamina and a true commitment to his craft.

Before I went to bed, Sheba texts me, "Girl, did you break him?"

I replied, "Hell no girl. I think he broke me."

To be continued...

Have you ever fucked a Professional? Did you hold your own?

Does the carpet match the drapes?

If you've been reading this blog since it started, you well know that I am somewhat of a connoisseur of strip clubs. Not all titty bars are created equal and on our assorted tours of Miami's finest my partner and I have happened on some tragic scenes. I must confess that my pole education is incomplete - I've never been to a white strip club. A long standing fetish for buxom, milky skinned red heads recently drove me inside the doors of two of South Florida's paler establishments.

I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, the myth that white strippers don't climb poles was quickly disproved. These chicks climb poles sans spurs, gaffs, hooks or spikes, like the some of the baddest big booty mocha dolls at Take One Lounge and Mint. Second, although there were a few spans of time during which hip hop was played, mostly the music trended towards the kind of fare most common in techno and rock clubs. Swaying gently to those electric beats is no small feat, ass popping is virtually impossible. Given the circumstances, they did an excellent job. Third, appearently "making it rain" is not par for the course. Dancers looked positively confused when we offered dollars for their stage time and seemed much more comfortable when asked for lap dances in VIP. Dances in the VIP area were somewhat contrived, or perhaps I am too much for a regular to mistake batting eyes for personality and genuine interest. Finally, saline and silicone had run a muck, much more so than I'm used to. If a chicks breasts were hers, they were A cups and came with a side of rib cage. Ewww!!!

I must say that although my tastes remain more in tune with the ass clapping titty shaking that is routine in black clubs, there is something dare I say 'classic' and endearing about the more burlesque flavors of venues like Solid Gold and Scarletts. I am sad to report that neither trip yielded a steamy encounter with a big breasted auburn haired goddess. So the question that is the subject if this blog remains unanswered.

Should I keep hope alive?